YakYak

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

er...

I think a lot of these would work for anyone.

J.R.R. Tolkein wrote The Lord of the Rings as a thank to Vin Diesel after he beat the shit out of his next door neighbor's dog who shat on Tolkien's lawn.

True dat.

When Vin Diesel laughs, the whole world laughs with him. When Vin Diesel kills, the whole world dies.

He can recite the entire text of Finnegans Wake, backwards and in 7 different lanugages, including Esperanto.

Vin Diesel once ate an entire train after he derailed it...with his penis.

Vin Diesel is Jean Claude Van Damme's older sister.

Vin Diesel wrote Napoleon Dynamite, but the director tacked on the dance sequence where the ayahuasca trip scene was supposed to go

No one can kill Vin Diesel, for a microchip surgically implanted onto his heart will release a deadly bio-chemical gas that will destroy the world.

Vin Diesel is actually an ancient red dragon in human form.

x 10

Absolute gold


Edit: Vin Diesel kicked the original Gerber baby in the face because he gave him "a look."

Every new Coke can design must be pre-approved by Vin Diesel.

I'm going to be doing this for hours...

Edit 2: Vin Diesel was present at the fail of the Berlin wall as a roadie for David Hasslehoff.

Vin Diesel is not in fact bald, but has discover the secret of limited invisibility.

Vin Diesel once played a 3rd level gnome fighter named "Sprinkles" who defeated Tiamat through the judicious use of saffron.

Edit 3: He doesn't actually walk anywhere, rather his feet hover a millimeter off the ground.

Rumour has it that even one drop of sweat from Vin's scalp is enough to fuel a car for up to 20,000 miles and will allow the car to exceed the speed of sound.

The Matrix is based on a theory Vin Diesel had about how glow sticks work.

The dinosaurs went extinct after Vin Diesel told God he thought the dinosaurs were "a motherfucking stupid idea...dumbass." God was embarrased and killed off all the dinosaurs. Then, Vin Diesel gave back God's bong.

Vin Diesel once sprayed Axe Deodorant Body Spray in his eye to save money on car insurance.

Every 2pac track released since Tupac's death has actually been written and recorded by Vin Diesel, and he personally slaughtered everyone responsible for the nu-mixx klazzics.

He lives in a castle that he built by hand using bricks made of the compressed souls of the damned.

He eats his weight in alfalfa every day.

Was taught everything he knows by Kenny G, but subsequently ate his brain.

I'll stop now. For now

Vin Diesel once pitched an idea to Blizzard Entertainment's CEO: "Get this, it's like WarCraft, but in space..."

I've spat my tea out twice and now I'm crying with laughter.

"Vin Diesel is in constant contact with the leaders of worlds from every corner of the universe. They consider him the leader of Earth. He was awarded Milky Way leader of the year in 1993 in a lavish ceremony."

"Vin Diesel is banned from World of Warcraft because he once put fourty thousand copper chain pants in separate auctions. Every one was sold, but the server load caused the entire cluster to go down for over a week."

Brilliant stuff.

HOW?!!

Vin Diesel is as Vin Diesel does

Vin Diesel invented fire when he farted in front of a group of cavemen and one of them was sitting too close.

I came into work this afternoon to avoid a Nuclear Armageddon and get some VB code finished off, and found that he'd already shut down the hugely unstable nuclear reactor disaster waiting to happen by drinking a lorry load of super-chilled liquid helium and then urinating on it.

He'd sodded off without touching the Visual Basic though. He thought that was for girls, and girls with squeaky laughs, gingham dresses, furry cotton knickers and pigtails at that.

What wouldn't we do without vin diesel eh? He's the Dunlop of the completely fake film industry!