WHORING FOR SHEEP

shobet_mawr · Post by **shobet_mawr** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 9:47 am 0

2001 A sheep odyssey...

Cut to scene prehistoric plains, some monkeys and some sheep grazing.

Sheep no 1: "Hey Flossie, we could make some tools with these bones!"

Flossie: "Baaa Fuck it let the monkeys do all the work!"

Monkey1: "Ooook"

The End

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 10:10 am 0

Then suddenly it all makes sense.

Dave's 'journy' at the end of 2001, he's only put a CD on his Nuon!

Elk · Post by **Elk** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 10:31 am 0

BaaaaaaRunner

Wales 2002

Picture cuts to rolling hills of Wales. Fire is propelled into the sky from various curry houses strewn around the land.

The camera pans showing the unfurling landscape.

Cut to a close up of a human eye with the reflection of the curry explosions causing the pupil to contract.

Cut to a smoke filled room. We see a man with short hair and a suit sitting behind three flat screened monitors.

Intercom: Next subject, Minter, Jeff, programmer, games sectionl, file-section, new employees, six days.

[ Knock on door ]

Intercom (background): Calling Mr. Webber. Please...

Holden: Come in.

Intercom (background): ... report to zone A, sector 9. [ pause ] Replication sector, level 9 - we have a B-1 security alert. Standby for ID check...

Holden: Sit down.

Intercom (background): Replication sector, level 9 - we have a B-1 security alert. Standby for...

Jeff: Care if I talk? I'm kind of nervous when I take tests.

Holden: Uh, just please don't move.

Jeff: Oh, sorry. [ pause ] I already had an IQ test this year, I don't think I've ever had one of these-

Holden: Reaction time is a factor in this, so please pay attention. Now, answer as quickly as you can.

Jeff: Sure.

Holden: One-one-eight-seven at Goattowers.

Jeff: That's the hotel.

Holden: What?

Jeff: Where I live.

Holden: Nice place?

Jeff: Yeah, sure I guess--that part of the test?

Holden: No, just warming you up, that's all.

Jeff: Oh. It's not fancy or anything.

Holden: You're in a field, walking along in the grass when all of the sudden-

Jeff: Is this the test now?

Holden: Yes. You're in a field walking along in the grass when all of the sudden you look down-

Jeff: What one?

Holden: What?

Jeff: What field?

Holden: It doesn't make any difference what field, it's completely hypothetical.

Jeff: But how come I'd be there?

Holden: Maybe you're fed up, maybe you want to be by yourself, who knows? You look down and you see a sheep, Jeff, it's skipping toward you-

Jeff: Sheep? What's that?

Holden: Know what a Goat is?

Jeff: Of course.

Holden: Same thing. More wool.

Jeff: I've never seen a sheep. [ pause ] But I understand what you mean.

Holden: You reach down, you flip the sheep over on its back Jeff.

Jeff: Do you make up these questions, Mr. Holden, or do they write them down for you?

Holden: The sheep lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping.

Jeff: What do you mean I'm not helping?

Holden: I mean, you're not helping. Why is that Jeff? [ pause ] They're just questions, Jeff. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response. [ pause ] Shall we continue? Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about: Flossie.

Jeff: My Flossie?

Holden: Yeah.

Jeff: Let me tell you about my Flossie. [ shot fired ]

....

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 10:43 am 0

Guess that proves that Mr Minter was not the real Mr Minter

shobet_mawr · Post by **shobet_mawr** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 12:28 pm 0

What have we been fleeced

Dax · Post by **Dax** » Thu Oct 17, 2002 7:34 pm 0

shobet_mawr wrote: Actually the names shobet.... shobet_mawr

and if you ask nicely i'll tell you what it means in welsh, but you will have to prove your age!

Well, I know 'mawr' is 'big' and since the Welsh-English dictionary prudently goes from 'sg' to 'si'....

... Braggart!

- Dax

Elk · Post by **Elk** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 9:26 am 0

The End ....

Elizian · Post by **Elizian** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 10:15 am 0

Dax wrote:Well, I know 'mawr' is 'big' and since the Welsh-English dictionary prudently goes from 'sg' to 'si'....
... Braggart!
- Dax

Elk wrote:The End ...

So, if I read this right shobet_mawr = Big End

shobet_mawr · Post by **shobet_mawr** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 10:31 am 0

Ehh not quite... keep guessing

Elizian · Post by **Elizian** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 10:34 am 0

Is it anything to do with having a dog backwards ... in your signature, I mean

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 10:38 am 0

This topic has suddenly taken an interesting turn!

shobet_mawr · Post by **shobet_mawr** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 10:59 am 0

Elizian wrote:Is it anything to do with having a dog backwards ... in your signature, I mean

I've never had a dog backwards...

keep guessing

strawdonkey · Post by **strawdonkey** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 12:23 pm 0

I know what it is!!!

strawdonkey · Post by **strawdonkey** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 12:25 pm 0

My name in Welsh -

noswrthgolaucannwyll

Fantastic! (cheers S_M)

shobet_mawr · Post by **shobet_mawr** » Fri Oct 18, 2002 12:27 pm 0

Anybody else want me to attempt to translate their names into welshish...