Mate, plenty of good advice above.
I don't believe in a Creator, and pretty much follow Chris' lines of thinking. The only bit I have to add is that we often get frustrated by situations out of our control, generally brought about by people, not necessarily yourself, taking things wayyyyyy too seriously.
Take a break. Hop on a bus, train, plane - go visit someone you love, or go somewhere you've never been, and relax. Don't read the news, don't wear a watch, don't listen to the radio. Just escape the world. Find somewhere quiet and listen to the wind, waves, whatever. Take a notepad and pencil, and write down everything that comes into your head, no matter how crazy it seems. You'll find some amazing things in that notepad when you look back on it.
Most importantly, follow one piece of advice already mentioned. You have made a positive difference to others inside (and I'd like to also bet on outside) of these forums. These people value your opinions & friendship, so no matter how low you feel, remember that there is always someone there to help you back to your best. And I hope that happens soon mate.
Steve
I'm really, really lost. Someone please help?
Re: I'm really, really lost. Someone please help?
Bog, if there was ever one thing I said in this forum that I cared about whether or not anyone took it seriously, it would be what I'm about to say:Bog wrote:Please. Help.
Get a counselor.
Yes, therapy.
You're not lost, Bog. You just need an impersonal third-party. Trust me. I've been exactly where you are right now. The path ahead is clear, if only you trust me.
SCI-FI: The Rise and Fall of Shimmerism | MUSIC: Distance to Jupiter | PLAYING: Electroplankton (DS), TimeSplitters 3 (GCN)
One of the features of being human is that it's possible to get lost like that. I've certainly been there. It may seem like there's some logical problem that's driving you down, but it has nothing to do with that. It's all down to your mood, which is all down to the chemical makeup of your brain. When you're down or lost, it changes the way you think so you tend to get even more down and lost. That's why things seem so confusing... the way you think is different than before.
The most important thing: It has NOTHING to do with finding an answer to your questions. It has everything to do with your brain itself. Focus on fixing your brain.
What do you do? Well, there's a lot you can do. dtj is right about therapy... it does help, and it's very hard to find the way out on your own.
There are lots of other, seemingly unrelated things that help: Get regular exercise (this is quite effective). Sleep a regular, moderate schedule. Don't take any recreational drugs or alcohol. Think positive thoughts: don't think a lot of negative, heavy stuff. This goes double for your questions you were pondering there: you aren't going to find an answer when you're down, and they're making you down. So don't do that. Do things that make you happy, or used to make you happy. Hang out with friends. Laugh. Skip around. Do silly stuff. It may seem like an overly positive simpleton polyanna way of thinking, but that's how you climb back out of the other extreme. Just try to fight it, because over time you will win.
From the way you put your post though, I think talking to a professional is the best way to go. It may sound rather drastic, but you're asking for help, and they offer help for a living. Why screw around asking us?
The most important thing: It has NOTHING to do with finding an answer to your questions. It has everything to do with your brain itself. Focus on fixing your brain.
What do you do? Well, there's a lot you can do. dtj is right about therapy... it does help, and it's very hard to find the way out on your own.
There are lots of other, seemingly unrelated things that help: Get regular exercise (this is quite effective). Sleep a regular, moderate schedule. Don't take any recreational drugs or alcohol. Think positive thoughts: don't think a lot of negative, heavy stuff. This goes double for your questions you were pondering there: you aren't going to find an answer when you're down, and they're making you down. So don't do that. Do things that make you happy, or used to make you happy. Hang out with friends. Laugh. Skip around. Do silly stuff. It may seem like an overly positive simpleton polyanna way of thinking, but that's how you climb back out of the other extreme. Just try to fight it, because over time you will win.
From the way you put your post though, I think talking to a professional is the best way to go. It may sound rather drastic, but you're asking for help, and they offer help for a living. Why screw around asking us?
Out of Luck, out of Money, out of Love... ? anyway, in this times it's not easy for visionaries like you (or me) to survive but thats the only way -surviving-.
I know this sort of -no hope, no future- life very well and i could only wish you luck but don't drop your hope, there are many ways. It could be difficult to find the right path but don't give up.
Many hugs.
I know this sort of -no hope, no future- life very well and i could only wish you luck but don't drop your hope, there are many ways. It could be difficult to find the right path but don't give up.
Many hugs.
http://www.join-me.co.uk/army.htmlAhchay wrote:Do things that make the world a better place. Even if it's only improving the world by one thousandth of one millionith of one hundreth of one percent.
Bog - although I feel kind of close via IRC and the like, I've never really had a chance to sit down with you and discuss... truth and beauty and Denis Leary and the like.
I'd love to, some day.
*Clears throat*...
EM Forster, bless 'im, said this:
"Failure or success seem to have been allotted to men by their stars. But they retain the power of wriggling, of fighting with their star or against it, and in the whole universe the only really interesting movement is this wriggle."
He also said this - for me, one of the all-time spine-tinglers:
"Only connect".
Chris' outlook seems similar to mine (and those laugh-a-minute French existentialists
). Propping yourself up with some kind of divine guidance is just spiritual slavery. It can be cosy, but you know, deep down, it ain't helping.What helps is to create - to spirit up something that wasn't there before and which enhances the lives of your fellow humans.
Art is all. Everything else is just admin. You're an artist, Bog. Go create.
Keep on wriggling.
*HUG*
Re: I'm really, really lost. Someone please help?
Whenever I get really upset/depressed, my father always says,
"this, too, will pass" and he's right, it always does, so take heart.
Sometimes, you can't see the path but that doesn't necessarily
mean you've left it. It's just like closing your eyes for a second
when you're riding a bike or an even better image is when you're
on a plane and you get lost in the clouds for a minute and then
you burst through into the clear. The easy thing about being on
the plane is that you're just the passive passenger and you assume
that the pilot has it all under control. That's like religious faith
when you can go "okay, there's someone directing this thing so
I don't have to panic." If you are the one driving, it's a different
story. It's really tough not to doubt when you have lost sight
of where you're going. You get the urge to stop or to turn around.
I tend to cope by asking every friggin' person I meet
"is this right? Am I going the right way? Will this work? What did
you do?"
At some point, though, if I'm lucky, I finally convince myself that
in fact, I did set out on this path for a reason, that the goal is
worthwhile, and that even I have to pass through some rocky
territory I am going in the right direction. I sometimes have to
bribe myself with small treats to get going again.
Sometimes, I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do or
sometimes I do know and no amount of treats or beating myself
up is going to make me do it. That's okay, too, because one of
the ultimate truths is this: If you do not make a decision, the
decision will be made for you. Circumstances will shift and you
will be forced to take a new path.
Anyway, until "this, too, shall pass" in whichever way it does,
be gentle with yourself because you deserve it.
"this, too, will pass" and he's right, it always does, so take heart.
Sometimes, you can't see the path but that doesn't necessarily
mean you've left it. It's just like closing your eyes for a second
when you're riding a bike or an even better image is when you're
on a plane and you get lost in the clouds for a minute and then
you burst through into the clear. The easy thing about being on
the plane is that you're just the passive passenger and you assume
that the pilot has it all under control. That's like religious faith
when you can go "okay, there's someone directing this thing so
I don't have to panic." If you are the one driving, it's a different
story. It's really tough not to doubt when you have lost sight
of where you're going. You get the urge to stop or to turn around.
I tend to cope by asking every friggin' person I meet
"is this right? Am I going the right way? Will this work? What did
you do?"
At some point, though, if I'm lucky, I finally convince myself that
in fact, I did set out on this path for a reason, that the goal is
worthwhile, and that even I have to pass through some rocky
territory I am going in the right direction. I sometimes have to
bribe myself with small treats to get going again.
Sometimes, I have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do or
sometimes I do know and no amount of treats or beating myself
up is going to make me do it. That's okay, too, because one of
the ultimate truths is this: If you do not make a decision, the
decision will be made for you. Circumstances will shift and you
will be forced to take a new path.
Anyway, until "this, too, shall pass" in whichever way it does,
be gentle with yourself because you deserve it.
All of us are looking for answers. Whether we are concious of that or not. Jesus but Chris put it clearest on the god issue. We have been left to our own devices. Now that lets some people run down a path of selfish self-fulfilment. Others go to the polar extreme and attempt to fill-in God's gaps with their own riteous path.
You my friend (and I mean that in the purest child-like sense - you are someone I like sharing time with) are one of the millions, and millions stuck somewhere in the middle. It can be fucking confusing sometimes, often. You feel the pull from the vocal and obvious people running down their dead-end selfish, or riteous streets. You maybe want to give-in and run with them sometimes. You don't have to; that pull is nothing more than travel-wake rocking your boat. Let the tide take you instead. Learn to ride it's ebbs and flows. Be selfish sometimes, be riteous others but mostly bob on the middle-sea where Bog is Bog; a good person that people like to spend time with.
There is no right path. Not for any of us. It can be horribly confusing and frightening sometimes, but once you get used to controlled drifting it can feel wonderful; liberating and safe. Its not fucking easy to get there though. Remember you mentioned all those sales people driving Porshes off the back of your talent? Take a close look into their lives; you will see money, selfishness and deep, deep, sadness. These are the men who cry when no one is looking. I was one of them.
Most of all; please don't go religious on us. The last thing I want to see you wearing is a Monk's habit. THat would just look stoopid wouldn't it?
You my friend (and I mean that in the purest child-like sense - you are someone I like sharing time with) are one of the millions, and millions stuck somewhere in the middle. It can be fucking confusing sometimes, often. You feel the pull from the vocal and obvious people running down their dead-end selfish, or riteous streets. You maybe want to give-in and run with them sometimes. You don't have to; that pull is nothing more than travel-wake rocking your boat. Let the tide take you instead. Learn to ride it's ebbs and flows. Be selfish sometimes, be riteous others but mostly bob on the middle-sea where Bog is Bog; a good person that people like to spend time with.
There is no right path. Not for any of us. It can be horribly confusing and frightening sometimes, but once you get used to controlled drifting it can feel wonderful; liberating and safe. Its not fucking easy to get there though. Remember you mentioned all those sales people driving Porshes off the back of your talent? Take a close look into their lives; you will see money, selfishness and deep, deep, sadness. These are the men who cry when no one is looking. I was one of them.
Most of all; please don't go religious on us. The last thing I want to see you wearing is a Monk's habit. THat would just look stoopid wouldn't it?
Boggy honey... Call me, whenever you want... You have my number.
I don't know what to add here, I'm having the same problem these days, I guess you know that though. I don't have any answers, and I don't think there's an easy cure-all... But knowing you have friends who care, and who want to be here for you... does that help? It definitely makes me feel better for knowing that in any case...
Will call you tonight bro, *cuddles, knuffels and giggles*
Em
I don't know what to add here, I'm having the same problem these days, I guess you know that though. I don't have any answers, and I don't think there's an easy cure-all... But knowing you have friends who care, and who want to be here for you... does that help? It definitely makes me feel better for knowing that in any case...
Will call you tonight bro, *cuddles, knuffels and giggles*
Em
Mmmm. Yes. Possibly.
Chin up Bog.
Fuck, I hate it when people say that as it just makes things feel worse doesn't it?
I've been there Bog and it's a cold and isolated place, I got out of it by going to a doctor and getting referred to a psychologist/counseller. It really did help me when I was on the verge of doing some stupid things.
Yeah it's not instantly great as there are no clear answers, but speaking to someone who understood the spiralling downturn in my feelings really helped. The biggest realisation that I came to was that in the grand scheme of things I am nothing. In a way, that freed me to realise that what matters is myself and I shouldn't try to carry the burdens of the world on my shoulders.
What I will say now will sound selfish but it's something that helped me realise a lot: Fuck everyone else because we matter most to ourselves. Look inside and find the little things that make you happy. Set yourself small goals and do things that you enjoy. A cup of tea, reading a paper, taking a walk, they are small but important things and they add up to make us feel better about ourselves. Don't let others put you off from achieving your goals. If you want to read the paper with a cup of tea, unplug the phone, sit down and enjoy it free from interruptions. Remember it's okay to tell other people no!
Don't look out to the universe for answers because the answers are in you, they're just a little hidden at the moment. It takes time Bog, start small and work upwards. I really do recommend seeing a counseller and don't be afraid to try seeing different counsellers if you don't get along with any of them!
Like everyone else here you have my shoulder to lean on and even though I barely know you, you're welcome to use it.
Fuck, I hate it when people say that as it just makes things feel worse doesn't it?
I've been there Bog and it's a cold and isolated place, I got out of it by going to a doctor and getting referred to a psychologist/counseller. It really did help me when I was on the verge of doing some stupid things.
Yeah it's not instantly great as there are no clear answers, but speaking to someone who understood the spiralling downturn in my feelings really helped. The biggest realisation that I came to was that in the grand scheme of things I am nothing. In a way, that freed me to realise that what matters is myself and I shouldn't try to carry the burdens of the world on my shoulders.
What I will say now will sound selfish but it's something that helped me realise a lot: Fuck everyone else because we matter most to ourselves. Look inside and find the little things that make you happy. Set yourself small goals and do things that you enjoy. A cup of tea, reading a paper, taking a walk, they are small but important things and they add up to make us feel better about ourselves. Don't let others put you off from achieving your goals. If you want to read the paper with a cup of tea, unplug the phone, sit down and enjoy it free from interruptions. Remember it's okay to tell other people no!
Don't look out to the universe for answers because the answers are in you, they're just a little hidden at the moment. It takes time Bog, start small and work upwards. I really do recommend seeing a counseller and don't be afraid to try seeing different counsellers if you don't get along with any of them!
Like everyone else here you have my shoulder to lean on and even though I barely know you, you're welcome to use it.
this too shall pass is a great one boggy
it shall pass and get fucking worse!
i been feeling it to boggya...
its mars - im telling ya...
anyway forget all that bollocking about
what you need....
is to blow the shit out of something
like perhaps 700 cd's and a piano...
you've got peeps who care about you
now lets blow something up!
aunty
it shall pass and get fucking worse!
i been feeling it to boggya...
its mars - im telling ya...
anyway forget all that bollocking about
what you need....
is to blow the shit out of something
like perhaps 700 cd's and a piano...
you've got peeps who care about you
now lets blow something up!
aunty
-
Bog
- Sheepie Whore
- Posts: 15767
- Joined: Mon Jun 24, 2002 2:01 pm 0
- Location: Los Angeles, California, Sol 3
THanks, everyone. As much for your advice as for showing how much you care - I'm a bit taken aback by how great you lot are, and continue to be.
If nothing else, reading what you lot have posted has given me a boost of strength. I probably do need to get away for a bit, and I'm very grateful for the offers of places to get away to. When I can, I will.
Thank you again - all of you.
*Big hairy hugs*
If nothing else, reading what you lot have posted has given me a boost of strength. I probably do need to get away for a bit, and I'm very grateful for the offers of places to get away to. When I can, I will.
Thank you again - all of you.
*Big hairy hugs*