Is it just me or are people fucking thick?

Bog · Post by **Bog** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:36 pm 0

Dio wrote:I was actually thinking of Tit Willow from The Muppet Show. Nobody knew what it meant there either.

My greatest contrafibularities on your comment.

"What's "obdurate" mean?"
"I dunno, Sam."

Zoot · Post by **Zoot** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:42 pm 0

We used to argue at work about what to do if you were in a lift that was falling. Someone said that you should jump up and down on the basis that you had a 50% chance of being in the air when it hit the bottom and so wouldn't suffer the same impact.

Discuss.With knives.

Bog · Post by **Bog** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:51 pm 0

Zoot wrote:We used to argue at work about what to do if you were in a lift that was falling. Someone said that you should jump up and down on the basis that you had a 50% chance of being in the air when it hit the bottom and so wouldn't suffer the same impact.

Discuss.With knives.

Absolutely right. The compressing ceiling would hit you, then you'd hit the ground with the travel velocity of the lift minus the pathetic vertical velocity your legs could impart.

And you'd deserve everything you got, too.

fred_zen · Post by **fred_zen** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:52 pm 0

Might as well jump up and down before getting squished, eh? If that's their thing, I mean.

tufty · Post by **tufty** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:56 pm 0

Bog wrote:
Zoot wrote:We used to argue at work about what to do if you were in a lift that was falling. Someone said that you should jump up and down on the basis that you had a 50% chance of being in the air when it hit the bottom and so wouldn't suffer the same impact.

Discuss.With knives.
Absolutely right. The compressing ceiling would hit you, then you'd hit the ground with the travel velocity of the lift minus the pathetic vertical velocity your legs could impart.

...and anyway, you'd get cut in half by the cable. Saw it in a film with that bloke Sam Neill in it, so it must be trueYes, The Omen

Simon

piku · Post by **piku** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:56 pm 0

Zoot wrote:We used to argue at work about what to do if you were in a lift that was falling. Someone said that you should jump up and down on the basis that you had a 50% chance of being in the air when it hit the bottom and so wouldn't suffer the same impact.

Discuss.With knives.

You'd crumple into the ground and die.

1. You can't open the lift doors and escape the roof that is about to crush into the floor

2. Inside the lift you'd appear to be weightless and could float around in the same way the Vomet Comet gives you the appearance of weightlessness. Unfortunately, to the rest of the universe you'd be hurtling downwards at terminal velocity.

After all, jump out of a bus when it's moving and you have to start running pretty quickly to maintain your momentum.

We can work Einstein and relativity into this one if we try. That should get the pseudo science flowing

What if the lift was on a treadmill powered by pixies?

fred_zen · Post by **fred_zen** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 7:59 pm 0

What if said treadmill was turned on and off by a quantic device? Shroedinger's pixies!

kalmar · Post by **kalmar** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:03 pm 0

Zoot wrote:We used to argue at work about what to do if you were in a lift

Is that an achieve lift or a NO IT CAN@T POSSIBLY TAKE OFF YOU MORONS?

Guru-Meditation · Post by **Guru-Meditation** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:17 pm 0

piku wrote:What if the lift was on a treadmill powered by pixies?

Do the pixies arrows have the strength to stop a falling lift? They could just shoot under it.

disciple · Post by **disciple** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:30 pm 0

HI EVERYBODY YOU CAN GET CHOCOLATE AND BANANA SANDWICHES FROM TESCO NOW THEY COST Â£1.30 AND EVEN THE BREAD IS CHOCOLATE FLAVOUR I JUST HAD SOME FOR MY TEA!!!!1!!

I RECOMMEND IT

Bog · Post by **Bog** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 8:44 pm 0

Disciple has been taken from us, and his body is now being controlled by... one of them.

Don't hesitate to fire. You'll be doing him a favour. We'll mourn him later.

When we have time.

gravy · Post by **gravy** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:28 pm 0

I'm shocked no one has said how many pages long this thread is on this page yet!

Guru-Meditation · Post by **Guru-Meditation** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:54 pm 0

Bog wrote:Disciple has been taken from us, and his body is now being controlled by... one of them.

Don't hesitate to fire. You'll be doing him a favour. We'll mourn him later.

When we have time.

Can I nick his sandwiches?

PinkFearie · Post by **PinkFearie** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:58 pm 0

Guru-Meditation wrote:
Bog wrote:Disciple has been taken from us, and his body is now being controlled by... one of them.

Don't hesitate to fire. You'll be doing him a favour. We'll mourn him later.

When we have time.
Can I nick his sandwiches?

theyre sandwiches for the pixies, ill look after them for the pixies ok......................

*scampers off giggling madly*

piku · Post by **piku** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:11 pm 0

Those sandwiches are wrong...

Banana sandwiches? Bleeergh! Someone's been at the pixie dust!