Ads that get right on your tits

[Public Hermit]

I completely agree with Yak's opening post.

The two types of advert that fuck me off the most mightily are these:

1. Ads where the company is basically saying "YOU ARE SOOOOO INDIVIDUAL WHICH IS WHY YOU MUST BUY OUR PRODUCTS BECAUSE YOU CAN CHOOSE WHICH COLOUR YOUR PRODUCT IS - OBVIOUSLY THIS IS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN EXPRESS YOUR DOUR, POINTLESS LITTLE PERSONALITY". I paraphrased that slightly. My response: "Fuck off".
2. Ads where the company does this: (in the run-up to the football season) "WE CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT FOOTBALL GNNNNNNN IT IS OUR LIVES JUST LIKE IT IS YOURS GOLLY ISN'T THAT A COINCIDENCE FUCKING COME ON YOU REDS/BLUES WHATEVER!!!" ... (two months later, in the run-up to the cricket) "FUCK WE LOVE CRICKET!!!! THAT SMELL OF BALLS! THE THWACK OF THE BAT! ... what do you mean "football" never heard of it". My response: "Fuck off and die you transparent twats".

/rant

[Rib]

"Kills 99% of the bacteria" ... the problem is you'll get ill/die because of that 1% left ...

Not quite giles.
What they don't say is that for thousands of years, those 99% of bacteria have been in contact with humans and our natural defenses have killed them.

Kills all irrelevant bacteria dead!

Which is tautology, as it's not like you can kill them alive.

[carolen]

All I have to say is:



(oh, but a typical product planning meeting may well go just like this:

[PVB]

We only watch 1 hour a day or so ( or even less than that )....

... and that hour alone provides enough ammunition for this rant?

Ye ${deity}. Guys, find a DVD or some film channel for your breaks, if you can't avoid TV altogether. At least find a channel without adverts!

You could have just posted this:

Butterbean says "Caaaaaaaaalm down!"

[piku]

I've been absorbing a large amount of US TV over the past week.

"Buy this monster sized truck because... well it does 14MPG and is AMERICAN! We'll even give you cash for your old car"

"Don't drink and drive, it's really expensive when we fine you (plus you might kill someone, but we won't really talk about that). Did we mention you pay a fine when we catch you?"

"Vulture, Vulture and Vulture lawyers will help YOU when we protect your tax-dodging ass from the IRS"

[DutchLlama]

We only watch 1 hour a day or so ( or even less than that )....

... and that hour alone provides enough ammunition for this rant?

Ye ${deity}. Guys, find a DVD or some film channel for your breaks, if you can't avoid TV altogether. At least find a channel without adverts!

You could have just posted this:

Butterbean says "Caaaaaaaaalm down!"

There's that yellow frog again.

[WiredWorm]

Lately the scary wide-eyed man from Postal Gold's latest advert has been freaking me out.

Has he been at the botox or something?

[Cloudane]

Haha, he's like "OMG Goooooold!"

He'd make a fine Klingon chancellor with those freaky eyes.

[TmC47]

Sheesh guys, I wish I could join in on all the fun. Thing is, I don't recognize ANY of the ads described. I banned commercials in 'Olland off my retina's a long time ago. The ones that do percolate through I give the same attention a turd on the curb gets from me, nothing really, but just enough not to step into one.
Oh, and I bet that for those times when an advert REALLY gets on your tits: remember there's a lotion for men that cleans it all off! *Tits not included, active with 42% of test-subjects, actual tits may vary

[Orava]

Lately the scary wide-eyed man from Postal Gold's latest advert has been freaking me out.

Has he been at the botox or something?

What sort of TV you watch? Never heard of any of these.

[arron]

The "Cash for your old phone" ads. Yes, you can get "up to £150" for your old phone, but you'll only be getting £150 if you're trading in a pristine brand new iPhone that you haven't had out of the box more than five minutes. And doesn't that CGI phone look happy knowing it's going off to a dismantling plant in a metal crate sometime soon? Next thing you know, they'll be having happy lambs dancing off to a slaughterhouse singing away so they can become your lamb-burgers.

Talking of shitty adverts, this is a parody.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/92/92gchicken.phtml

[The ghost of raids past]

The ads where despite the fact they were probably filmed in English the first time, have for some reason been redubbed into English with the added benefit of destroying the voice sync.

[Yak]

We need some PROPER ads back .

[WiredWorm]

I like the Spectrum+ one.

Wasn't the reason it was compatible with all the existing Speccy stuff because it basically was an original spectrum mainboard in a different casing?

I seem to recall we actually bought a keyboard unit and just changed the board over ourselves.

[arron]

Finally found an example on one that will play in the UK. F*&#@%~ region encoding..

http://www.all4humor.com/videos/funny-c ... icken.html