Yak wrote:srs ghost wrote:
What the fuck!
This girl is cutting herself and posting pictures about it.
Actually there have been a few pics of people cutting that I have noticed come up from time to time. It's an odd thing... certainly some do it for attention, others do it for some kind of release... I knew one guy who used to do it when he got depressed, he described it as being like an intolerable itch that could only be cured by doing it.
Well .. I don't speak as a psicologist, I am not one I can speak a bit
from personal experience, I never cut myself but there have been times
I was into some kind of stuff where I think some mechanisms, seeing
now from outside, maybe are quite similar to that.
I think there can be at least two different reasons to do it, sometime is
really a search of attention, after all this kind of cut it's very different
from another kind of thing like "extreme body modifications" can be where
the reasons are much different and IMHO "more deep" (and even
"more dangerous").
Another reason is really "the will to do it to yourself", it can sound very
silly or better "too simple" to be explained this way but after all I think
is really the will to "punish" yourself for some kind of "incapacity" or
"limit you are not able to pass".
So you wish to inflict some pain to yourself for it, it's a quite subconscious
mechanism and more than pain what one really wants to see is his/her
own blood, I think to see the blood coming out from your flesh is exactly
what gives you the feeling of "accomplishment" and "release" of something
"wrong" you had inside.
I think it's not really the search of pain the main point but the blood itslef,
blood, is something that subconscuiously I suspect when you see it out
makes you feel like "I am pouring out the evil from myself" .. or sorta ..
Yak wrote:
That poor guy was a bit fucked up, and it seemed to stem from problems with depression coupled with extreme social phobia and low self esteem... in a way he was cutting because he felt he "deserved" it somehow.
How strange life can be something ... sometime I really had the feeling
that after all "similar people tend to converge the same point" .. and
that is also one reason that gave me the deep and hard strenght to
change lot in my life when I finally been able to stop and ask myself
"look at you, where are you going ? what do you *really* want and look
for ?".
Eh ... as you know I knew this guy as well .. not so well at you but we
were in touch .. you know the rest ..
As I said above I think what I wrote is quite true.
Yak wrote:
I think there may be parallels between that and the more dark and scary "extreme" edges of things like BDSM, where people *actually* start injuring themselves rather than just engaging in mutual roleplay... there are underlying issues leading to the behaviour, and the cutting or mutilation is a kind of displacement activity that temporarily relieves the bad feelings.
BDSM is a complex thing, there are many levels and many different
meanings one can give to it, again, I speak from my direct personal
experience.
Yes, when you reach some extremes I really believe IS a displacement
because after all BDSM is all a "roleplay thing" so actually pretending to
live something in a different way by creating an "alternative situation"
different from reality even extremes are.
But it's all very dangerous because there's the big risk that slowly and
then faster this displacement will become more and more important to
you, more than the reality around you and your soul too will start to
change making it adapt more to this displaced reality you created and you
are living.
It seems "silly" it seems that "this happends only to people inclined to
addiction and that they'd be the same even without it" .. true but till a
certain point, because addiction or better be inclined to go into extremes
is something that grows as well, and often IMHO is a subconsciuous thing.
I agree 200% anyway that some things are *REALLY* something that
temporarily relieves the bad feelings ...
The real big problem is that often you are NOT able to understand WHY
they are giving you the relief, why you feel reliefed in doing some things.
I have to say I have been luckly, directly and indirectly I had some really
terrible experiences that shaken
all of myself from bottom to top
and made me reconsider lots of points in my life and people around me.
I have to say, I found "the right path" (what I think is of course, there is
no "absolute answer" to what is 'right') thanks to two things, the wish to
believe that after all Goat is something that even if I can't completely
accept is still something that is worth to listen at .. and looking deeply into
myself asking mysef "what I was really searching since the beggining,
what was that I really missed and wanted to be".
And the answer has been that what a children was looking for *sigh*
after all was still there, and what a children wanted to be were more or
less still the same.
Life made a kid a billy goat with a strong skin and horns, sometime a bit
silly too, like any goat can be ... but the deep core was still the same and
I am glad that it never been intacted inside.
That, made me realize what I
really was looking for, and made me
realize all my silliness and how far from it I was, yet .. I thank Goat for
these experiences beacause they made me understand or better FEEL ..
.. because some things I believe you learn them only when they hit
your soul so deep that then it's the soul feeling them, not your mind ...
Yak wrote:
I have to say that that kind of stuff makes me acutely uncomfortable, not least because the guy I knew who was cutting actually tried to use it to force me to give up smoking or at least to use my smoking habit to justify his self-harm - "If you can smoke then i can do this", putting the guilt onto *me*... which was pretty fucked up.
I think there's nothing worse you can do that to put guilt on someone
this way , even if again this is a complex issue, it's first at all a matter
of weights .. I mean IF for someone, maybe and NOT justifying, to cut
himself could be "at the same level" that smoking well .. he could have
a half reason to say it from
his point of view.
BUT in this case the thing is
completely different because
it's actually a "coercitive act" that is really of the kind "I feel bad so I
make you feel bad too and I want you feel bad".
What is missing here ?
True and honest communication !
If I really can't stop cutting myself for as "bad" it can be and I really
care of feel for the other involved with me it's a must I have to try to
see what I am doing with other's eyes and use as much empathy as I
can to try to feel and understand how the other can see the thing.
And, most important than anything I must, is a duty really, talk with the
other and explain what it means for me and why and why I do that and
ask him/her how he/she feel .. and LISTEN the other as well.
And then a balancing can be found, maybe one can't stop cutting himself
but can slow down the thing and same about smoking ...
But anyway that was clearly not the case above.
About me .. I was already thinking in taking some "hard decisions" and
a couple of final things gave me all the necessary strenght and will to
do that but I really did them because my soul was feeling in the right way
to do them and the way I did, soul, that's important "feel the thing".
And now I feel so good, the goodness I found and I continue to find and
the path I took is making simply me feel great
Some final words anyway about being around people with troubles ... like
these people cutting themselves for example.
It's sad to say, I've been the "helpful friend" of quite some people in the
past having troubles, sometime I think I maybe been "attracted" to them
because I was thinking that in sharing the same kind of troubles you can
work them out together.
Now I know, nothing more wrong than this
you'll get simply worse.
I like to offer help if possible and if I can BUT, I can't surely live my life
sharing someone's else troubles and, we never must forget that for as
much as we can do one
must work out his/her problem by him/her
self ...
Lot of people can be around you but no one but you can make you get
out of the darkness or greyness you are in, only you can do it.
So what I learnt is, the more I can away from people with troubles, the
better I feel and live ... apologizes to say in advance, I wish and I respect
the troubles one can have, we all have, but as much as I can avoid being
around troubles the better it is.
The world is full of screwed up people .. and most of them can't be fixed
at all .. hard reality ..
*hugs*
. Not sure I want to know the difference.
