WHORING FOR SHEEP

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:01 pm 0

I picked my time, my nose, my crime.
I chose a route, through mud and grime.
I wore a tie, a shirt, no pants, thigh length boots.
I found her sleeping, I woke her gently.

I Guided her across the field,
Down the hill we gently step'd.
To the rocky outcrop, by the stream.
We tripp'd, and fell. A bellow'd scream.

She bore the brunt of it,
When we fell.
Trap'd beneath, it hurt like hell.

And *that* is the truth your honour.

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:02 pm 0

Heh. I am *so* rusty at this stupid poetry thing.

But I'll get into it.

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:20 pm 0

A monument, they said, to all we believe.
A hundred foot tall, made of gold, glass, and chrome.
An icon, a dream, a message to all.
So I built a wall, with a Chad, if I rightly recall.

---

A green bottle before me says, empty me, and dump me. Take me away.
I've been sitting before you 2 weeks from today. I'm green, but not moldy,
stale, yes, not fresh. But you can't just ignore me, I'm on the next desk.

---

Belly fluff is cool. Always blue/grey.
Forever replenishing, every day.
I know it would help all in the world
if only we knew how to turn it to food.

Belly fluff is great. The highest of fashion,
Discreet, and adorable, but why don't you try on.
New ear fluff and nose fluff, and bum fluff classic
I know you have tried it, try to take pride in it.

Belly fluff, be proud, lets be clear.
I think we should all give our Belly fluff a cheer!

If only we knew how to turn

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:23 pm 0

I hate deadlines. I just can't understand them.
Sometimes I think it might help if I break the word down into it's consituent parts: Deadl and Ines. They make no sense, and that's why deadlines don't.

This really unfunny mauling of a Jack Handy quote brought to you by "my numb leg, causing me to hop around with pins and needles in the office".

Thank you.

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:27 pm 0

heh - noone's paying attention. Time to fill a whole page of this thread with *my* postings.

Lets start the event with a badger parade!!!

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:29 pm 0

Here it comes. And rightly so. At the head of the Badger parade is humongous generic illiterate badger. See him push those kids over, and spit all over the feet of granny.

"Piss off".

And what a stunning show of badgerness he is. But, who's this coming round the corner?...

Jac · Post by **Jac** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:30 pm 0

"so the badger goes to film school....
and he wins a Golden Globe for Best Film By A Badger Or A Hedgehog"

Badger in the Badlands, Kenny Young and the Eggplants

Jac · Post by **Jac** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:31 pm 0

I met an American Badger in August. I said it looked like someone had hit a Ferengi with a spade.

I still maintain that I'm right.

Jac · Post by **Jac** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:36 pm 0

Hmmmmmmmm not far to go to Sheepie 3. Might get there tonight....

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:43 pm 0

Origami Badger. A very rare creature flown specially in from Japan for our Badger Parade today. Origami Badger used to be a member of organised crime, money laundering mainly, but turned over a new leaf, and is now here with us today:

"Fold both ways before crossing the road"

[jac] urrrgh- get interrupted by a phone call and this is what you do!

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:45 pm 0

Jac wrote:I met an American Badger in August. I said it looked like someone had hit a Ferengi with a spade.

I still maintain that I'm right.

Sounds like you've met the third member of our badger parade. Ugly badger!

"wot you lookin at"

Jac · Post by **Jac** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:46 pm 0

well don't accuse me of not paying attention :-)

Besides, I got badgers in to it, didn't I? How much more On (but wildly Off) Topic do you want?

koworld · Post by **koworld** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:49 pm 0

I'm scared of escalators so I wrote a poem about them:

Mr Escalator

I am standing down here,
But with just two steps,
I could be standing up there.
Thanks Mr Escalator.
Its a shame that you are evil.

Jac · Post by **Jac** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:54 pm 0

The Thing about words like Secretary and Business
Is that the more you write them the worse they look
They start to mutate and become secretarryryry
and buiseness and even then they're wrong

The bastards.

ekendrick · Post by **ekendrick** » Tue Nov 05, 2002 10:54 pm 0

Jac wrote:well don't accuse me of not paying attention :-)

Besides, I got badgers in to it, didn't I? How much more On (but wildly Off) Topic do you want?

On Topic, Off Topic. Keep it up. On Topic, Off Topic, Keep it up. Yes, we have the celebrated Colonel Saunders, the famous marching Badger, fourth in the line of our (often interrupted, but no less special) Badger Parade!

"Years of work, slow promotion through the ranks by killing your superiors, and you could be just like me"

Hurrah for Marching Badger!!!