On being "Crew"
Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2003 12:46 am 0
I know that there have been a few people a bit upset by what they see as some kind of a difference in status between what we call "Crew", those who through circumstance have been drawn together close to the point of creation of Unity, and those who are outside of this group.
Goat knows, the last thing I ever want to do, in whatever circumstance I find myself, is to enforce exclusion. I know that's a horrible pain, and I wouldn't willingly inflict it on others.
The original usage of the term arose purely coincidentally, as did the very forming of the first "Crew". It was never planned. Rik and Jed were visiting for the weekend late last year, purely socially. Since those two were "in the know" about the Unity project I decided to show them some early work. And the only reason they were "in the know" were because Rik had been around when the bomb dropped on me about Unity being viable in the first place, and he was a friend I could trust not to tell anyone before the official announcement; and Jed knew because he had been instrumental in nudging into place the circumstances which led to there being any Unity at all.
That night they were visiting I didn't think there was that much that was worth looking at for more than a few minutes; I'd got some very early demos working and hooked them up to multiple controllers, and never having actually used it multi-player, I suggested we have a quick look for five minutes or so before settling down to watch a film or something on the projector.
That five minutes turned into nine hours. None of us, myself included, had any idea of how powerful multi-user interactive lightsynth would be. I was as surprised as they were to find myself blinking in the grey light of dawn the following morning. It had been a long five minutes.
It was powerful, and very moving, and it was clear to me that I needed to get full 4-player interactivity implemented - we had the Warp Rave coming up, and with the initial impromptu test run having been so surprisingly good it seemed to be the obvious thing to do. Sickboy was willing to be our fourth pilot, and so on the 14th December, six days before the rave itself, after a frantic cobbling-together of code on my part, we convened here again for the first full 4-user interactive test, and it was good. It was damn good.
We went into the rave as a visuals crew. Four guys, four controllers and a pile of hardware we couldn't tell people about yet, because the nature of the project hadn't been officially announced. And so the four of us became the VLM Crew. That was the original meaning of the word - we were simply the people who knew how to operate VLM. And the night went really well, and we tore the roof off the place, as has been well documented.
Playing VLM as a crew is an immensely enjoyable thing, but like any other group of people who work together as a team in order to perform live, you need to get together every once in a while to practice; especially so in the case of VLM/Unity, where the very nature of your "instrument" is changing over time as the thing gets built underneath you. So "Crew weekends" became a regular occurrence; we'd convene round my place and fire up the projector and learn our skillz together. And, like any band, sometimes the lineup changes; family is more important than playing in a band, and Korruptor joined us on the nights when Sickboy couldn't make it.
The actual, physical crew might have changed, but Sickboy will always be "Crew". The meaning of the word started to change.
Throughout this year our practice nights have continued regularly and, simply because we are four mates getting together regularly and sharing something enjoyable, the four of us physical crewmembers have become close friends. That's just human, and natural.
However it hasn't always just been us. Girlfriends and other associated people also attended the sessions and were exposed to the VLM and given the controls, and experienced the same wonder that the three of us first saw that first night when the five-minute demo turned into a nine-hour stretch. And, y'know, they became Crew too. The word no longer means just the people who operate the machine. It has come to mean those who have stood here in this room, with the controller in their hands, and *felt* what it is like to partake in this experience, something utterly new.
You lot who came back after the Alltwalis rave and saw probably the best-ever performance by us "operators", and then took up the controls yourselves and *understood* - you are Crew too. I know that tears were shed that night by someone who "got it" so powerfully that it had that effect - you know who you are - and by Goat, you are Crew if ever there was Crew. It's not meant as an exclusive term. It's just come to mean someone who has stood here and used the system and felt what happens when you use the system. Feeling that for the first time changes you. It *makes* you Crew.
I've been in the biz more than 20 years now, and I have never, ever created or encountered a piece of software that has this effect. Which has brought people together and made them close friends, and which has had the power to move people emotionally like this does. I'm not saying that in order to make myself seem clever - I had no idea that was going to happen, and no idea it would have that effect on people. I'm like Ellie Arroway at the window of the pod in "Contact", I had no idea... they *should* have sent a poet and not a stinky sheepshagger like me... In truth it scares me, because I always question my own abilities and wonder whether I am even *worthy* to be its custodian and developer.
"Crew" is just those of us who have been here and felt that, and by Goat, it isn't meant to be exclusive; in fact I will try as hard as I am physically, mentally and emotionally able to make it *non*exclusive. I want everyone who wants to to be Crew. If I were able I'd be jumping on planes and visiting the Llamasofties in the US and Oz and Europe and bringing my devkit and a flock of Wavebirds and a projector and showing everyone, saying "here, this is how it feels, check it out!". I've never wanted to share anything more in my life. There is something genuinely good here.
I can't do that. I can't invite everybody who's interested back to mine. I'm just an ordinary bloke (apart from the sheepshagging) with an ordinary house and an ordinary amount of time to spend with people at weekends. The only way I can make more people Crew is to knuckle down and create Unity and get it out there, and I will do that or I will die trying, and that is a promise. No project I have ever undertaken in my entire life has meant more to me than this does. And if I fuck this up I will probably never get another chance again.
I want to make all of you Crew.
\
(:-) - Yak
/
Goat knows, the last thing I ever want to do, in whatever circumstance I find myself, is to enforce exclusion. I know that's a horrible pain, and I wouldn't willingly inflict it on others.
The original usage of the term arose purely coincidentally, as did the very forming of the first "Crew". It was never planned. Rik and Jed were visiting for the weekend late last year, purely socially. Since those two were "in the know" about the Unity project I decided to show them some early work. And the only reason they were "in the know" were because Rik had been around when the bomb dropped on me about Unity being viable in the first place, and he was a friend I could trust not to tell anyone before the official announcement; and Jed knew because he had been instrumental in nudging into place the circumstances which led to there being any Unity at all.
That night they were visiting I didn't think there was that much that was worth looking at for more than a few minutes; I'd got some very early demos working and hooked them up to multiple controllers, and never having actually used it multi-player, I suggested we have a quick look for five minutes or so before settling down to watch a film or something on the projector.
That five minutes turned into nine hours. None of us, myself included, had any idea of how powerful multi-user interactive lightsynth would be. I was as surprised as they were to find myself blinking in the grey light of dawn the following morning. It had been a long five minutes.
It was powerful, and very moving, and it was clear to me that I needed to get full 4-player interactivity implemented - we had the Warp Rave coming up, and with the initial impromptu test run having been so surprisingly good it seemed to be the obvious thing to do. Sickboy was willing to be our fourth pilot, and so on the 14th December, six days before the rave itself, after a frantic cobbling-together of code on my part, we convened here again for the first full 4-user interactive test, and it was good. It was damn good.
We went into the rave as a visuals crew. Four guys, four controllers and a pile of hardware we couldn't tell people about yet, because the nature of the project hadn't been officially announced. And so the four of us became the VLM Crew. That was the original meaning of the word - we were simply the people who knew how to operate VLM. And the night went really well, and we tore the roof off the place, as has been well documented.
Playing VLM as a crew is an immensely enjoyable thing, but like any other group of people who work together as a team in order to perform live, you need to get together every once in a while to practice; especially so in the case of VLM/Unity, where the very nature of your "instrument" is changing over time as the thing gets built underneath you. So "Crew weekends" became a regular occurrence; we'd convene round my place and fire up the projector and learn our skillz together. And, like any band, sometimes the lineup changes; family is more important than playing in a band, and Korruptor joined us on the nights when Sickboy couldn't make it.
The actual, physical crew might have changed, but Sickboy will always be "Crew". The meaning of the word started to change.
Throughout this year our practice nights have continued regularly and, simply because we are four mates getting together regularly and sharing something enjoyable, the four of us physical crewmembers have become close friends. That's just human, and natural.
However it hasn't always just been us. Girlfriends and other associated people also attended the sessions and were exposed to the VLM and given the controls, and experienced the same wonder that the three of us first saw that first night when the five-minute demo turned into a nine-hour stretch. And, y'know, they became Crew too. The word no longer means just the people who operate the machine. It has come to mean those who have stood here in this room, with the controller in their hands, and *felt* what it is like to partake in this experience, something utterly new.
You lot who came back after the Alltwalis rave and saw probably the best-ever performance by us "operators", and then took up the controls yourselves and *understood* - you are Crew too. I know that tears were shed that night by someone who "got it" so powerfully that it had that effect - you know who you are - and by Goat, you are Crew if ever there was Crew. It's not meant as an exclusive term. It's just come to mean someone who has stood here and used the system and felt what happens when you use the system. Feeling that for the first time changes you. It *makes* you Crew.
I've been in the biz more than 20 years now, and I have never, ever created or encountered a piece of software that has this effect. Which has brought people together and made them close friends, and which has had the power to move people emotionally like this does. I'm not saying that in order to make myself seem clever - I had no idea that was going to happen, and no idea it would have that effect on people. I'm like Ellie Arroway at the window of the pod in "Contact", I had no idea... they *should* have sent a poet and not a stinky sheepshagger like me... In truth it scares me, because I always question my own abilities and wonder whether I am even *worthy* to be its custodian and developer.
"Crew" is just those of us who have been here and felt that, and by Goat, it isn't meant to be exclusive; in fact I will try as hard as I am physically, mentally and emotionally able to make it *non*exclusive. I want everyone who wants to to be Crew. If I were able I'd be jumping on planes and visiting the Llamasofties in the US and Oz and Europe and bringing my devkit and a flock of Wavebirds and a projector and showing everyone, saying "here, this is how it feels, check it out!". I've never wanted to share anything more in my life. There is something genuinely good here.
I can't do that. I can't invite everybody who's interested back to mine. I'm just an ordinary bloke (apart from the sheepshagging) with an ordinary house and an ordinary amount of time to spend with people at weekends. The only way I can make more people Crew is to knuckle down and create Unity and get it out there, and I will do that or I will die trying, and that is a promise. No project I have ever undertaken in my entire life has meant more to me than this does. And if I fuck this up I will probably never get another chance again.
I want to make all of you Crew.
\
(:-) - Yak
/
)
