No ass kissing or fluffy hugs from me, just an honest word in your ears and a reassurance that the industry needs crazy people like you, doing what you want and releasing games that defy convention.
Respect goes out to you both.
Blah, blah, blah. Sit it out for a few weeks, chill some, smile and firmly lift a middle finger at them all.
So what if SG got bad reviews? if you enjoyed making it and enjoy the end result then all negative feedback is meaningless, just put it down to the world not being ready for games that don't follow the 'rules'. If you have been burned by M$ then fuck ‘em off, they are a bunch of wankers anyway. (The Wii would be more up your street)
My honest advice is get over it and continue to do what makes you happy, if it means keeping things low-key and more personal then so be it, the only true choice you have in life is how to live it.
You do great things, both of you. I could talk for hours (and frequently do) about the levels of genuine genius present in your work, about how I sympathise and empathise with your creative and personal trauma at the moment. Some things are best left for PMs.
What I will say is this. Llamasoft as an enterprise is not just important, but essential. Videogames are a fledgling medium of communication and there are some people who will be seen as the chief architects of it when the books are written. Yak, you're there man. You are Outside, but your work speaks for itself. Some won't get it. But those that do will remember it forever.
Personally, your output, be it game or lightsynth (or both together) resonates with me personally and artistically in ways I find difficult to describe. Gridrunner ++ was the first game I was determined to show my (now) wife when we got together and the sights and sounds of that game, Tempest 2000 and SG are now part of the tapestry of our lives together with our children. The fact I'm raising Llamasoft addicts as my father did before me is an endless source of joy.
And it isn't just Dalek cows and flower-burping neo-giraffes that fascinate my kids; it is the tale of these two creative outsiders on a farm in Wales with beasties and arcade cabinets, passionately creating art-fun in a new medium. That, sirs, has the whiff of legend about it - and you are living it.
I take my (rather tall and grand) hat off to you. You'll be back, and you'll be sheepier and zappier and, er, rechargier than ever.
Factory's no place for me, boss man leave me be.
Xbox Live Gamertag/PSN ID: Barbellion
Wii Console Number: 7017 0974 8271 2157
I'd always recommend simply looking at this community if you're after some self-affirmation... the whole place is based upon a mutual respect for you both (now, although obviously it started as a Yak-only thing...), not just in terms of the things you do, but more importantly, the way you do them.
Many people here are no longer gamers, don't own 3rd gen consoles, don't care about the latest PC developments, or whatever.
They come here because they identify with what you do and especially the way you do it. Yak's always been a champion of doing things in a unique and ultimately personal way, and getting out and doing things yourself. At the same time, he has a respect and admiration for others' efforts, to the point that this place is a hub for a range of creative and imaginative people from different disciplines.
The forum itself isn't some fawning mass of fanboys, but a critical, objective, community that, to me, reflects the spirit of the bloke that inspired it, including the occasional emotive outburst. It reflects the fact that some people *care* about stuff...
Anyway, I can only recommend that you try to take a step away from the noisy fucks who forget that when the criticise LS, it's not like slagging some corporate monolith like Sony or MS or EA, but actual people with lives and feelings and stuff.
Scritch a sheep or two, have a NCOT, play some games...
Cheers and good luck,
Simon
"Who put the 'ram' in the 'ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong'?"
Jeff and Giles, you both seem like really nice blokes who enjoy what you do and Llamasoft has been going for decades, which has to be a testament to something positive.
Giles, Jeff... I can understand what you are feeling now, a big hug to both of you.
Don't despair, it won't help, take time to relax and to see things from a different view. You'll get a more objective image of your personal and professional situation.
If you do keep believing in what you do - and what you like to do - you will get out of this bad moment. Look toward positiveness, and remember that yakyakkers are always here!
Jeez Giles....major hugs and loves to you and Yak...I hate to see you two so down like this.
Please concentrate on the all positive stuff being said and felt about you both...people who produce such individual and distinctive works like yourselves are always going to evoke the classic 'Marmite' response.
Just be there for each other right now and don't take life too seriously.
I think it's nice to get all these words of comfort from the community but at the end of the day, getting yourself out of the pit of despair requires a multi-faceted plan of attack.
We all love what you do and you'll hear it a thousand times but positive vibes will only lift you so far and if you're right in the hole you need a bit more than that.
I realise that there are good reasons why you can't say 'fuck it' for a couple of weeks and go and get some sun, away from all this dark and miserable weather but I reckon it's *exactly* what you need right now.
Hopefully there are 'forces in the universe' which will help to shuffle things around and you can get away from all this crap and get yourself some rays.
Sunlight is in short supply right now and the blues are getting to us all so I'm not surprised that it's hitting you especially hard right now.
Get yourself a juicer as well, if you don't already have one and drink loads of revolting fruit and veg concoctions as I've found they help to build up your immunity against the bad stuff.
Lives often consist of semi-repeating patterns in a multiplicity of differing scenarios. It might be as well to recall past periods of “down†that now seem less desperate than they did at the time, and recognise that cyclical conditions, by their very definition, turnabout.
Philosophically, resistance to change is at the root of mucho unhappiness... and that as we get older the resistance builds.
The worse thing you can say to someone who is down is to tell them to "cheer up" so I won't do that.
You obviously have a lot of people who love you here - you are a very lucky guy to have such a lot of people passionate about your work.
I know it hurts to have people calling your baby names but opinions are like arse-holes and everyone has them. It's part of the human condition and we have to accept that or go mad. I hope you choose to accept it and bend like the reed and don't let yourself be consumed by focussing on the negativity of some people.
There are lessons to be learnt , or perhaps there aren't - but the games industry would not be the same without bright burning beacons of individuality like yourself.
I'll be honest with you - I'm shit at motivational speeches. what sounds motivating in my head always sounds like I've just tossed another negative onto the pile so if that's how this post ends up looking I apologise in advance.
Equally I'm not going to go down the 'It's a great game and nothing else matters' route because I don't think that's the issue here - I get the feeling that's an accepted fact and the stress is more down to the practical aspects of everyday life (and more importantly paying for it).
I'm hoping the work you've done on SG will shorten the development cycle next time around and all the work turns out to be an investment for you two and considering what you got with SG for 400 points I wouldn't have begrudged you charging 800 for it - in fact if that's what it takes to ensure your wellbeing and future developments I'm insisting on it (at least I would be if it was my place to do so). Nobody would hold it against you if you turned out a few quick games to get the money rolling either - I've got complete confidence that you know there's a difference between producing something quickly and producing something badly and that you'd do the right thing every time. maybe save the magnum opus stuff for when times are a little easier.
I really hope things get better soon and if there's anything I can do just shout. Not sure what exactly - but offer is there as always...
Jeff + Ivan ...
When you think there's nothing left to surprise or shock you, when you're on the ropes and the world has come shuddering to a halt around you, that's the time you come back: fearful in majesty, titanic and stupendous in glory, as if the pillars of the earth could crumble beneath you, and bring the very gods to stop and stare.
(you know that if you can make it through this, you can make it through anything)
"And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure."
What can I say ... but keep doing what you do (both of you).
I for one appreciate the dedication & individuality you bring to your projects that make them stand out from the main.
You are the breath of fresh camel tinged air that the gaming industry has always needed.
My childhood & early teens have been soaked in Llamasoft goodness & having now reached the grand old age of 38 ... I can truly say, that I don't regret any of the considerable time & money I have invested playing your games over the past 20+ years.
Negativity breeds negativity if you let it ... are you happy with SG? ... that's all that counts really, isn't it?
But if that isn't enough then, well ...
I may have no control over the length of my life, but the depth & width is entirely up to me.
