Three

mk1 · Post by **mk1** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 6:51 pm 0

When I was younger, for some reason, I couldn't go on a strange toilet. I went to France for a week and the toilets were just nasty. One week later I went beyond needing to go and became incredibly bunged up - I thought I was going to die and my colon explode etc etc. Let's just say that when the moment finally came it wasn't particularly pleasant.

Jon · Post by **Jon** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 6:51 pm 0

I believe twice a day is optimal for most people; means everything is working as it should. I can't seem to off load unless I have something to read, as a rule.

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 6:57 pm 0

Spirit wrote:I tend to be a bit erratic in this department but never usually more then once every two days, in fact, a nice bit of relief a few hours ago

What I mean it's never usually more than two days between. I worded that a bit wrong.

Tmuk · Post by **Tmuk** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 8:08 pm 0

I like the ones which creep up and suprise you.
Usually I find I'm feeling a bit tetchy or stressed and for the life of me can't think why. Then, suddenly it dawns on me - the baby poo has been put through the final stage of gestation and is ready to be born.

After giving birth, I tend to feel happier, lighter and inexplicably like a 6 year old child again. This initial burst of post poo energy lasts for about 5 minutes and then dissipates.

So now you know

PFVA · Post by **PFVA** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 8:36 pm 0

Hmmm... i don't know if it was psychological but i got this urgent need to go to the restroom after reading this thread. Or maybe it was the peppered spaghetti i had for lunch.

________________________

mk1 · Post by **mk1** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 8:41 pm 0

In case anyone cares, I currently have the following in my bog library..

the last 2 issues of viz

latest issue of edge magazine

gamecube equip

latest issue of gamesmaster mag

a saddam hussein biography

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:03 pm 0

mk1 wrote:a saddam hussein biography

That will do it

dtj · Post by **dtj** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:16 pm 0

Truemetaluk wrote:After giving birth, I tend to feel happier, lighter and inexplicably like a 6 year old child again. This initial burst of post poo energy lasts for about 5 minutes and then dissipates.

As your infant is squeezed out, a flood of endorphins is released by the brain - a reward to you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to make the drop. This endorphin rush reinforces the behavior, and ensures that you look forward to doing it again; the rush can also act as a component of certain, uh, sexual behaviors which I shan't describe here as in some parts of the world its still illegal.

Tmuk · Post by **Tmuk** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:38 pm 0

Interesting! Suppose the same applies when taking a piss too...

I've always wondered about the purpose of an orgasm, but I suppose it's the same theory - 'well done for that mate, you've just helped humanity out. Here's a nice feeling'

Yak · Post by **Yak** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:43 pm 0

Jon wrote:I believe twice a day is optimal for most people; means everything is working as it should. I can't seem to off load unless I have something to read, as a rule.

yeah, gotta have reading material. I hate it when you go round someone's house and there's nothing to read in the bog! What do these people do? Do they just never poo? There should *always* be books and magazines and stuff in the bog. It's *important*.

I've been reduced to reading the nearest shampoo bottle in some houses. Well you gotta read *something*.

\
(:-) - Yak
/

Stone · Post by **Stone** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:51 pm 0

Yak wrote:
Jon wrote:I believe twice a day is optimal for most people; means everything is working as it should. I can't seem to off load unless I have something to read, as a rule.
yeah, gotta have reading material. I hate it when you go round someone's house and there's nothing to read in the bog! What do these people do? Do they just never poo? There should *always* be books and magazines and stuff in the bog. It's *important*.

I've been reduced to reading the nearest shampoo bottle in some houses. Well you gotta read *something*.

I think the idea is that they don't want to distract themselves from their overly-hectic lives to do something as mundane as take a crap.

Personally I think they're all tossers.

Though nobody's mentioned the possibility of handheld gaming action (no not that kind you filty lot) while you're on the pot (no not that either...damn I'm not doing too well, clearly!). Presumably it's shockingly poor puns like this that turn people off the idea

Stone

Tmuk · Post by **Tmuk** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 9:53 pm 0

Yak wrote: yeah, gotta have reading material. I hate it when you go round someone's house and there's nothing to read in the bog! What do these people do? Do they just never poo? There should *always* be books and magazines and stuff in the bog. It's *important*.

I've been reduced to reading the nearest shampoo bottle in some houses. Well you gotta read *something*.

\
(:-) - Yak
/

That's true. I often resort to reading the toilet duck bottle, but failing that, a patterned carpet or lino can be quite mesmerising at close range!

Jon · Post by **Jon** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:29 pm 0

I've always found Fortean Times to be perfect. Especially the shorter articles at the front. Nothing like reading about odd things when you drop your kids off at the pool.

Yak · Post by **Yak** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:38 pm 0

I must admit that I have been rather taken with retiring for a poo with the Tablet PC these days and reading my favourite websites.

There's something extra specially warmingly geeky about surfing the net whilst on the throne, as I am sure a few laptop owners around these parts will attest.

\
(:-) - Yak
/

Jon · Post by **Jon** » Wed Jul 09, 2003 10:43 pm 0

You could look at the FT website, that would be cool. The oddness with the geekyness. I think you're onto something with this...