Do you poo with your face on the floor?Truemetaluk wrote: failing that, a patterned carpet or lino can be quite mesmerising at close range!
Three
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Are you driving home...
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But wouldn't they then have - ahem - reading material?Stone wrote: Personally I think they're all tossers.
So, you get to keep your knees warm in Winter?Yak wrote:There's something extra specially warmingly geeky about surfing the net whilst on the throne, as I am sure a few laptop owners around these parts will attest.
Hmm, the thread must be in need of a
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Stone
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I was thinking more of the NGPC / GP32Yak wrote:I must admit that I have been rather taken with retiring for a poo with the Tablet PC these days and reading my favourite websites.
There's something extra specially warmingly geeky about surfing the net whilst on the throne, as I am sure a few laptop owners around these parts will attest.
Not quite brave enough to attempt it yet tho
Stone
Please DO NOT let the tablet slip betwixt your legs, thereby discharging its stored energy into the nearest ground - your balls; t'would be a great loss to us all (those balls), not to mention the $$ value of the fried tablet PC...Yak wrote:I must admit that I have been rather taken with retiring for a poo with the Tablet PC these days and reading my favourite websites.
There's something extra specially warmingly geeky about surfing the net whilst on the throne, as I am sure a few laptop owners around these parts will attest.
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(:-) - Yak
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SCI-FI: The Rise and Fall of Shimmerism | MUSIC: Distance to Jupiter | PLAYING: Electroplankton (DS), TimeSplitters 3 (GCN)
I assume the usual 'brace for landing' position, but quite often find myself staring downwards at the patterns in the lino. Try it, but don't lean too far forward or something horrible will invariably happen...Are you driving home... wrote:Do you poo with your face on the floor?Truemetaluk wrote: failing that, a patterned carpet or lino can be quite mesmerising at close range!
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Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?
Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.
Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.
Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.
Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.
King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.
Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?
Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.
Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.
Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.
Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.
Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.
Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.
Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?
Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.
Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.
Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.
Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.
Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.
King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.
Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?
Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.
Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.
Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.
Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.
Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.
Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.
Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.
One of my NGPCs is on permanent duty in the lavStone wrote:Though nobody's mentioned the possibility of handheld gaming action (no not that kind you filty lot) while you're on the pot (no not that either...damn I'm not doing too well, clearly!). Presumably it's shockingly poor puns like this that turn people off the idea
Match of the Millennium is perfect for a quick gaming fix (First Blast for a quick visit or Survival if you intend to be in for a while) or a couple of rounds of Card Fighters will do the trick too.There was a thread recently on the neo-geo.com forums where it was decided that the worlds favourite place to play the NGPC was on the throne...
Of the current crop, Wario ware seems like perfect bog fodder.
Cheers
Chris
the bizzarre ratings of an ignorant, deluded old fool
I am the god of Poo Fire.ross wrote:You know far too much about this subject. I won't ask why..koworld wrote:Its because dog food is better now. Got some mineral or other in it.mk1 wrote:Does that white chalky dog poo still exist?
I haven't seen any since I was a kid - just wondering whether it was a 70s / 80s phenomenon...
And with this Fire, I give you Poo.
Pooooo, poooouuuu oo
