Bomb her womb with your huge cannon!

[merman]

"Judge sets date for Paris Hilton execution"

and a new one, fresh in the inbox today

"Anne Coulter wants Paris Hilton sent to Guantanamo"

Is that another breach of the prisoners' human rights?

[Thoughtcat]

Paris Hilton declared one of the seven most unique wonders of the world
Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are lovers: video proof
SpongeBob named in Paris Hilton paternity lawsuit
Paris Hilton confuses animal control cops (fnarr)
Paris Hilton had sex with aliens

Non-Paris goodies:

BREAKING NEWS: Gay bishop was a wrestling pro
Richard Nixon speaks from the grave
Employee sticks pole into boss literally
Blair: I'm not gay, that's just my accent

[Toothy_Grin]

A great site for folks to give their artistic impressions on spam is http://www.spamusement.com

The original author no longer actually submits his own, but there's a terrific group of folks that do in the forums under "guest strips". There are several running in-jokes and internal memes going on (most often based on the author's original work).

Perfect example, spam subject is "How to make your girl come":

http://spamusement.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10975

Enjoy!!

[D]

And in breaking news:
Angelina's newborn twins marry each other..
Britney and Gazza's Shocking Rehab Romance
Angelina Jolie Set To Destroy Own Vagina

[Kelloggs]

Paris Hilton's hole is filled by construction crew.

(I'm testing our spamassassin configuration at the moment. There are some comedy classics in there.)

[fred_zen]

Paris Hilton Vows Not To Write Book Until She Reads One First
North Korea Offers Arms for Paris Hilton
Inmates say Hilton has prompted prison staff to shower with them
Paris Hilton Becomes Mormon -- Marries Paparazzi
London sleazebags swarm to club's Paris Hilton night
Paris Hilton nominated for Nobel Prize

Hmm, I'd love to have a look at their subject line generator.

Non-Paris WTF:

If you want a decent watch, get a replica approach

[stealthbanana]

Paris Hilton avoids jail in last minute deal. Governor Schwarzenegger resigns in protest.
Paris Hilton's Prison Ant Farm?
Paris Hilton's New Movie Sweeps the Oscars
Paris Hilton Declared One of the Seven Most Unique Wonders of the World!
Taliban say Nicky Hilton Hotter Than Paris Hilton

[Zoot]

Paris Hilton in Crack-In-Arse Scandal

[PVB]

Paris Hilton Denies Pregnancy to Dell: Says Father Fictitious

[Cthulip]

Paris Hilton Likened to Swarm of Locusts By Religious Right

[StarshipUK]

Heres the ones I got today:

Paris Hilton becomes nun
Paris Hilton anorexia fears
Paris Hilton asks: has anyone seen Mike Hunt?
Paris Hilton 'bent over backwards' for me - says Stephen Hawkin
Paris Hilton breaks down after a friend tells her shes an 'asshole'!
Paris Hilton caught sucking a fisherman's friend
Paris Hilton covered in excrement
Paris Hilton crowned 'Miss Vagina 2008'
Paris Hilton declared one of the most unique seven wonders of the world
Paris Hilton denies screwing Ron Paul
Paris Hilton feels humiliated
Paris Hilton fully rehabilitated
Paris Hilton goes down on new england patriots
Paris Hilton has breast reduction op
Paris Hilton issues press release requesting no press releases?
Paris Hilton lectures on Dickens and Dostoevsky
Paris Hilton likes Briney Spears pussy
Paris Hilton makes me feel horny says Briney Spears
Paris Hilton Pregnant by Aliens
Paris Hilton quits simple life to do opera;cut from barron hilton's will
Paris Hilton returned by aliens
Paris Hilton shows her goodies
Paris Hilton shows pussy again
Paris Hilton sick of spoof
Paris Hilton starts large hadron collider today
Paris Hilton sucks zac efron
Paris Hilton to encourage animals to spend the night
Paris Hilton to foot $1,000+ per day bill for Lynwood 'room service' charges
Paris Hilton to operate new atom smasher
Paris Hilton to show beaver
Paris Hilton toenail exclusive
Paris Hilton tosses dwarf on street
Paris Hilton violated by gypsies
Paris Hilton wants to stay in jail
Paris Hilton: harvard loves my cooter!
Paris Hilton: Snikers diet the best for 2008!
Paris Hilton's bust goes missing
Paris Hilton's ingrowing toenail was life threatening: Sherrif Lee Baca
Paris Hilton's prison sweat to be sold on e-bay
Paris Hilton's vagina infects entire prison population
Paris wants David Beckham to keep his banana in his pants!

Thats all for today. I get too much spam!

[StarshipUK]

And here are just some of the more amusing Britney Spears ones:

Britney is to be sold on e-bay
Britney Spears admits "my Vagina made me shave my head bald"
Britney Spears blows her nose on designer dresses
Britney Spears distches music career, enters car racing
Britney Spears gives forekin museum amazing gift
Britney Spears leaves Earth, Humanity breathes sigh of relief
Britney Spears new hair extensions are Lindsay Lohan's Pubes
Britney Spears recording new album - forgotten how to sing
Britney Spears shoots down American sky satellite with her Vagina
Britney Spears to study theoretical quantum mechanics at MIT
Britney Spears: "Yes, I tried to suck the shine off a bumper"
Britney Spears: I was like a nymphomaniac with no rubbers
Britney sues vagina for divorce

[piku]

Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad
Paris gets vagina insured!
ViagraB $1.40, Cia|iis $2.21, TramadolB, SomaB $0.71, Levitr from low price rpvt mx68
代辦支票借款，公司戶支票。企業貸款。缺錢找我。週轉金。(Charge d'affaires check loan, company household check. Enterprise loan. Is short of money looks for me. Circulating capital.)


And today's phishing attack is:

Account Security: Your Account Has Been Accessed By An Unauthorized Third Party

Egg Bank has been receiving complaints from our customers for unauthorised use of the Egg Online accounts. As a result we periodically review Egg Online Accounts and temporarily restrict access of those accounts which we think are vunerable to the unauthorised use.

This message has been sent to you from Egg Bank because we have noticed invalid login attempts into your account, due to this we are temporarily limiting and restricting your account access until we confirm your identity.

To confirm your identity and remove your account limitation please click on YOUR ACCOUNT below.

With 'Your account' linking to... http://myronivka.com.ua/images/update.php

[Cthulip]

Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad
Paris gets vagina insured!
ViagraB $1.40, Cia|iis $2.21, TramadolB, SomaB $0.71, Levitr from low price rpvt mx68
代辦支票借款，公司戶支票。企業貸款。缺錢找我。週轉金。(Charge d'affaires check loan, company household check. Enterprise loan. Is short of money looks for me. Circulating capital.)


And today's phishing attack is:

Account Security: Your Account Has Been Accessed By An Unauthorized Third Party

Egg Bank has been receiving complaints from our customers for unauthorised use of the Egg Online accounts. As a result we periodically review Egg Online Accounts and temporarily restrict access of those accounts which we think are vunerable to the unauthorised use.

This message has been sent to you from Egg Bank because we have noticed invalid login attempts into your account, due to this we are temporarily limiting and restricting your account access until we confirm your identity.

To confirm your identity and remove your account limitation please click on YOUR ACCOUNT below.

With 'Your account' linking to... http://myronivka.com.ua/images/update.php

I wonder how many people click that link.

[kalmar]

I rarely look in the spam folder because it's usually illiterate dross, but I did find a Paris one:

Paris Hilton Satisfies Lusty, Sweaty, Prison Women