You just look like a complete twat.

koworld · Post by **koworld** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 10:50 am 0

Okay, this has probably been done to death but I just feel I have to lay this one open to the wolves in sheepie clothing!

Its the althletic World Championships on telly and because my kitchen portable can only get BBC1 I've been forced to watch it as breakfast-making background.

Thing is, as always happens, I get kinda sucked into it; all the stats, drama, etc. And then...

...the 20k walking race comes on. WALKING FUCKING RACE? Are you taking the piss? What the fuck? It's walking for crying out loud. For the love of the sweet baby jesus who the fuck ever thought it might make a sport? Sports are about pushing the body, becoming faster, stronger, further. Feats of human endurance and skill. WALKING IS JUST SHIT RUNNING. It is, it really is. Walking races are a crippled form of running races, they cramp the body. It's ugly to watch, boring and stupid. Even the commontator said it was common for front 'runners' to get disqualified on the home lap because they have infringed the rules of walking for a third time.

Rules of fucking walking? WHat the fuck?

Then at the finish the commentator says 'ooh look how cool she is after one and a half hours of hard walking'. LISTEN TO YOURSELF MAN, what the god damn sweet mother-fucking trousers are you saying? Where is your professional pride. Just say what we all see 'well she's won but I can't see the achievement or point to be honest.'

Blimey.

Oh yeah, umm hurrah for everyone!

Lester M Fong · Post by **Lester M Fong** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:07 am 0

I suspect it's all some type of masonic cult thing, and that's how they manage to get it on the BBC... I've never seen any adverts to join a speed walking club at my local sports centre, ergo people are obviously inducted into the 'sport' in some type of secret funny walk ceremony

anyway, I think they should have a walking decathlon, where they enforce the rules of walking on all other events, so you have to do a walking run-up in the long jump, and of course the walking 110m hurdles would be really good... not sure whether walking pole vault would really work though...

koworld · Post by **koworld** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:12 am 0

Lester M Fong wrote:I suspect it's all some type of masonic cult thing, and that's how they manage to get it on the BBC... I've never seen any adverts to join a speed walking club at my local sports centre, ergo people are obviously inducted into the 'sport' in some type of secret funny walk ceremony

FUck yeah, similar theory on this one:

We were in the park a couple of months back and found the 'London Korfball CHampionships' going on. THERE'S NO SUCH FUCKING THING I kept wandering around shouting but nobody listened.

It looked like netball but they had wicker baskets on poles in the middle of little courts. On and only the one basket per court incidently. And no one EVER scored.

strawdonkey · Post by **strawdonkey** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:28 am 0

koworld wrote:And no one EVER scored.

So who won then?

Muttley · Post by **Muttley** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:32 am 0

koworld wrote:And no one EVER scored.

I assume you are still talking about the game????

Loada · Post by **Loada** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:40 am 0

I'm with koworld on this - the ironic about the Olympic "walking" event is that it looks bugger-all like walking. The "walkers" move like they have a serious case of the trots and are making a dash for the nearest convenience. Either that or they're having to do the whole race holding an egg between their arse cheeks. Hmm, that would maybe explain the whole thing...

PVB · Post by **PVB** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 11:53 am 0

Loada wrote:I'm with koworld on this - the ironic about the Olympic "walking" event is that it looks bugger-all like walking. The "walkers" move like they have a serious case of the trots and are making a dash for the nearest convenience. Either that or they're having to do the whole race holding an egg between their arse cheeks. Hmm, that would maybe explain the whole thing...

Yes, then anyone having a hard-boiled egg would be breaking the rules, if not the egg.

hairy_pete · Post by **hairy_pete** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 12:23 pm 0

The real joke about those "walking" competitions is that they cheat. All of them. As soon as the judge is out of sight, they cheat.

(The rule being that you have to have one foot on the ground at all times.)

The shoesmakers have long had shoes with an electronic monitoring device. The international walkers' organizations and the olympic officials openly REFUSE to take on the technology - mainly because the best of the best would suddenly turn up half an hour short on their previous world record.

I'm the last guy to diss a traditional sport, particularly when it's all about your own physical capabilities, but this walking thing has long become a farce.

But not remotely as ridiculous as this "Power Walking" fitness fashion bullshit we see everywhere now. Hey, just because you're wearing pink tights and are swinging your arms vigorously, it's still just a walk in the park. You just look ridiculous now.

Muttley · Post by **Muttley** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 12:25 pm 0

hairy_pete wrote:
I'm the last guy to diss a traditional sport, particularly when it's all about your own physical capabilities, but this walking thing has long become a farce.

But not remotely as ridiculous as this "Power Walking" fitness fashion bullshit we see everywhere now. Hey, just because you're wearing pink tights and are swinging your arms vigorously, it's still just a walk in the park. You just look ridiculous now.

Errr, especially if the pink tights come in XXXXXL, then it is almost GBH, oh my eyes, my poor poor eyes.... Whenever I see something like that I really wonder if I should be happy that the laser surgery on my eyes has worked that well.

maraxis · Post by **maraxis** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 1:46 pm 0

What I've always wondered when athletics is on the TV is just how do you know you're good at pole vaulting?

It's not as if you can have a go at school. He had the javelin, triple-jump, discus, shot-put, long jump & running, but no pole-vaulting. OK, maybe at an athletics club, but we could of all been potential champions if only they had the pole at school...

Stone · Post by **Stone** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 3:54 pm 0

Gabriella wrote:Errr, especially if the pink tights come in XXXXXL, then it is almost GBH, oh my eyes, my poor poor eyes.... Whenever I see something like that I really wonder if I should be happy that the laser surgery on my eyes has worked that well.

I just went around a large shopping centre. (no prozes for guessing which one). It got to the point where I the denizens were making me feel physically ill. Not fun at all.

Incidentally, how bad was your eyesight previously? I think my eyes are beyond redemption

Stone

Firefox · Post by **Firefox** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 4:47 pm 0

Stone wrote:I just went around a large shopping centre. (no prozes for guessing which one).

Bluewater? Meadowhell?

strawdonkey · Post by **strawdonkey** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 4:55 pm 0

Firefox wrote:Meadowhell?

I'm going there tomorrow

Quite like it, if honest...

Stone · Post by **Stone** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 5:14 pm 0

Firefox wrote:
Stone wrote:I just went around a large shopping centre. (no prozes for guessing which one).
Bluewater? Meadowhell?

Bluewater. And as promised you win nothing

Stone

ElfQrin · Post by **ElfQrin** » Sun Aug 24, 2003 5:18 pm 0

koworld wrote: WALKING FUCKING RACE? Are you taking the piss? What the fuck? It's walking for crying out loud. For the love of the sweet baby jesus who the fuck ever thought it might make a sport?

It's funny to associate these words to the girl in your picture

YakYak

You just look like a complete twat.

You just look like a complete twat.

Re: You just look like a complete twat.