Ads that get right on your tits

[Ratsoap]

The recent spate of ads that show factories as some kind of Wonka-esque wonderland, where everyone is happy and dancing really make me smile. Having worked in a food production facility I can safely say that they couldn't be more wrong.

[betamax]

The recent spate of ads that show factories as some kind of Wonka-esque wonderland, where everyone is happy and dancing really make me smile. Having worked in a food production facility I can safely say that they couldn't be more wrong.

Are you thinking of those fucking Dell ones? Or the ones for Chips? I have also worked in a food factory (mercifully briefly) and if you were singing in there you were A-grade whacko, waiting for the chumly bus, soon to be relocated to a room with no view.

[Orava]

That oven cleaner advert that seems to imply men are morons. I hate the 'men are stupid' angle that a lot of adverts seem to take these days.

That advert is a crock of shit, the small print on the bottle says you leave it overnight to do its thing. I don't know about you, but my oven grills aren't that dirty.

Talking of croc... those 'croc odour' ads are stupid, mostly because the woman sounds like she's saying 'crock-o-da fridge'



Really though, I dislike any advert that makes its products out to be the most important thing on the planet. I'm specifically looking at you, Finish Diamond dishwashing cleaner... it's only dish washing, so shut up presenting your latest widget as if it's going to revolutionise the world.

Crikey. I am a firm believer that loos should smell of shit and fridges of the food in them. If your fridge smells awful then change what you eat. A kitchen should smell of cooking and not of fucking patchouli. Houses should smell of wet dogs, cats, old wood, dust and muddy footprints and not of some kind of sneeze-inducing chemical concoction. And your clothes should smell of ironed cotton or soggy wool and not fucking summer flowers. Your car should smell of muddy boots and dog, not fucking wonder tree. It is all wrong.

[piku]

Crikey. I am a firm believer that loos should smell of shit and fridges of the food in them. If your fridge smells awful then change what you eat. A kitchen should smell of cooking and not of fucking patchouli. Houses should smell of wet dogs, cats, old wood, dust and muddy footprints and not of some kind of sneeze-inducing chemical concoction. And your clothes should smell of ironed cotton or soggy wool and not fucking summer flowers. Your car should smell of muddy boots and dog, not fucking wonder tree. It is all wrong.

My house wins on all those points then.

Burning smells like cooking, right? My oven has some welded on lumps of carbon that won't come off unless I do something drastic involving a chisel or small nuclear device.

[Cloudane]

That oven cleaner advert that seems to imply men are morons. I hate the 'men are stupid' angle that a lot of adverts seem to take these days.

Ah yes, like the rabbit adverts that used to be on before Emmerdale - where she basically verbally abuses her husband

Or the fajita one..

[Mellers]

That oven cleaner advert that seems to imply men are morons. I hate the 'men are stupid' angle that a lot of adverts seem to take these days.

I've just complained to the advertising standards council about that one. It's so sexist it makes me want to kill the ad execs (and not in a good way) This two-faced, double standard that says 'women being sexist about men is funny' has got to stop.

I'm a woman by the way.

[Cloudane]

That oven cleaner advert that seems to imply men are morons. I hate the 'men are stupid' angle that a lot of adverts seem to take these days.

I've just complained to the advertising standards council about that one. It's so sexist it makes me want to kill the ad execs (and not in a good way) This two-faced, double standard that says 'women being sexist about men is funny' has got to stop.

Aye, it's a bit like this idea people have where men hitting women (even 'playfully') is abuse, yet women hitting men is always hilarious. And how some female groups recently have been going on about how men are "not needed" and so many women are bringing up kids alone with the help of the state etc etc. It's a minority thankfully but it seems a handful have used the equality campaigning (a good thing) to try and take over and do exactly what they were campaigning against. Ah, hypocrisy...

[JQW]

There's a really terrible one airing in the Tyne Tees region at the moment for a double glazing company. It's so bad they make Safestyle UK look professional.

The advert is a shot of a wall with three windows in it - all three are the same size, but to add a bit of variety they're at different heights above the ground and one opens in a different direction to the other two. A bloke with a regional accent is behind each one and each says something about how much he spent on his windows. And that's about it, really.

[Gorecki]

Safestyle UK look professional.

Their radio advert features a Scottish guy who sounds exactly like Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It/In The Loop (aka Peter Capaldi). As a result I can't listen to it without involuntarily inserting profanities where Malcolm would.

"Safestyle UK is that fucking company. Now buy the fucking windows you sweaty bollocked cunt or I'll break your fucking legs."

[Louis G]

Go compare adverts drive me up the wall. If i ever see that bloke i would kick him in his fat scrotum......hard!

[sack]

I saw the BT one yesterday... Emotional blackmail like that is just shameful and fucking low.

I always talk to my girlfriend on my mobile because I always want to be there for her in every sense. If she ever needs me I don't want to have to say 'sorry.. I know you really needed me, but i was in the street/office/more than 5 metres from an arbitary fixed point' after the event - I want to be able to talk to her. If some marketing man wants to tell me I'm a bad person for that they can go take Bill Hicks advice and make the world a better place.

[Alarm]

Bah. Now we have to watch The Simpsons repeats while being reminded of "could I be a better search engine".

[benedictw]

The only one that's bugging me right now is the 'magic film of cleaning' one. Then at the end is shows a demonstration of what its like in use and its clearly marked 'dramatisation only'. Fuck that, you show a demo of a product, show a demo of the product. If you glue a bloke to a board and fly him above London, you have to be able to do that.

[guythp]

Car ads in general are pretty shit, but the recent 'anti retro' ads from (I think, and I just saw the commercial so I hope I'm right!) citroen are a bit pointless.

Aside from the bad video-editing and getting a voice actor/ress to 'sound like' the famous peep, the car looks shit and I doubt very much runs on anything other than petrol/diesel, from the advert itself it appeared to have four wheels and I doubt the cunt flies.
Not really anti retro, is it? Cars have pretty much always been like this, only possibly quite as ugly.

[Yak]

Likewise that pretentious Ford advert where they show a world covered in paper for some reason and the idea is "Imagine if you could start again and design something entirely new"... and then out comes just another car like every other bloody car (except uglier in that it looks like it has a big grimacing mouth, that car is fucking ugly). Pretentious as all hell setup, bugger all delivery. Typical advertising fuckery.