Ads that get right on your tits

Inane baanter or words of wisdom - you decide...
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by gilesgoat »

benedictw wrote:The only one that's bugging me right now is the 'magic film of cleaning' one. Then at the end is shows a demonstration of what its like in use and its clearly marked 'dramatisation only'. Fuck that, you show a demo of a product, show a demo of the product. If you glue a bloke to a board and fly him above London, you have to be able to do that.
It's like those ads for those pregnancy tests where you see "3 weeks" and a note just below "the word 'weeks' is used for
dramatisation only and bears no meaning" or those things that supposedly should make your eyelashes "incredible" and a
note says "image enached in post production and false lashes inserts been used" or same thing about a miracolous product
for hair and then the note says "hairs extensions been used and professional procedures been used" or "this product will
give you a professional-like feel" with the note that says "this is not equivalent of a professional job".

Likewise in general "this product is good for you it will make you better" but practically ONLY "if you are already good and
you already feel better".

In short is in a way "extremely odd" because they give you THE FEELING/EXPECTATION that something is going to happen
while at the same time warning you that "actually this is NOT going to happen".

I think the logic goes that if you create an expectation that is big enough, expectation beats even the opposite evidence.

Which, in a way, it's part of how the brain works, if you expect something to be SO good then you'll brain will refuse to
accept the idea "actually is not so good at all", it will "minimize" this effect and a part of you will always think "well maybe
it's not SO good but it's still good ENOUGH" for me.

The other kind of the game is that fundamentally all that involves "just buying", a very simple act where the only thing
required is you have the money for.

Is the feeling of "which this simple act ( buying that product X ) that involves really almost zero effort I get the promise
that I am doing something good / something good is going to happen to me, if it does not happen I cannot blame myself
cause I have done 'the correct thing' ( buy it ) , at most I can blame the product for not keeping up its promise, the
fault is not mine".

Let's not forget the humans are more inclined to accept and love positive illusions rather than accepting the negative
reality of things or the feeling that "actually to get what you really would like to is going to be 10 times harder than
what it shown here and, quite some of you, could NEVER get it precisely because of that".

Selling good illusions is a very old story, that always work to some extent.

Illusions and dreams keep people going, some dreams can turn into reality when lot of effort and resources are applied but
sometime they won't be a reality in the life time of the one(s) that started it, some dreams are never meant to be reality
and some of them are good precisely because that is never going to happen.

Anyway, ads have nothing philosophycal or not much and the ultimate goal of an ad is to make you buy something and
give your money to someone else.

"We are in only for the money" - Zappa

What is "rude" about ads is that they are designed to exploit weaknesses and mechanisms of the human nature for the
pure reason of the money god, some ads anyway are really honest, they show you a thing for what it is, but most of them
yes do show you a thing for what it is but they trick you to believe is much more than what it really is and/or is going to
do things for you beyond what actually the thing does.

Funny this is that "if you believe enough, 1/3 of it is probably going to happen".

If you believe in getting X is going to make you feel better, even if X has not any direct effect at all on it the thing is
you do feel better .. that car is not going to make me feel better or improve my health or whatever because it has some
magic component in it .. but I buy it and I feel good I got it .. the more I am convinced, the better I feel, that car
becomes a kind of "carrier" or a "trigger mechanism" for your satisfaction.

So if I mange to create something so full of good promises and things and you buy it and jut because of your self
convincement you get "part of all those promises" because you believe it is so .. it becomes someway completely irrelevant
what is the real object I sold you and you got .. in essence you bought a wagon of promises you belive in.

This thing is not going to phisically do that much for your health at all when you eat it .. BUT .. you eat it and you believe
to feel SO good and doing SO well and you are SO happy.

Some people could say "fooking hell, a product like that is a success then, most important, is not going to hurt you even
if it does 'phisically nothing' " :mrgreen:

You are not selling "well being" but you are selling "well feeling", which, is still a valuable thing some people would be more
than happy to pay money for :mrgreen:
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by KlaxonCow »



I don't quite get what this advert is trying to say. Apparently, their sales pitch is "our company is run by an annoying cunt".

Indeed, as there can be no ice in the Sea of Tranquillity - it's exposed to the Sun (the ice found on the Moon was in a permanently dark crater at one of the Moon's polar regions) - then we can amend that to "our company is run by an annoying cunt, who is either blatantly lying his arse off to us, or is such a monumental idiot that someone's scammed him into buying 'Moon ice' which they actually made in their freezer at home".

And, either way, that's one annoying cunt who's proudly advertising why you shouldn't trust him with a single penny of your money in any way. Because he's either trying to directly scam you, or he's such a gullible idiot that someone else will scam him and you'll lose all your money through him indirectly anyway

(And in light of the recent banking crisis, where a bunch of annoying cunts really did lose half our money - because they don't know what the fuck they're doing, in truth - and then wanted even more to bail themselves out, no questions asked, then proceeded to continue to behave like cunts with extortionate "bonuses" anyway, then that's an extremely poor choice of sales pitch indeed.)

This is a variant category of advert that I'd like to add to the mix, the "ads which are so poorly thought out, they unintentionally imply that you shouldn't really go anywhere near their products".

Another one in that category would be, for example, the Crunchy Nut ads which imply that their cereal is more addictive than crack and will reduce you to a gibbering anti-social misanthropic obsessive compulsive - that'll happily sell out their own family for a "fix" of Crunchy Nut - whose life will be inevitably ruined by their inability to concentrate on anything else for more than five minutes.

"Buy Crunchy Nut and become a cereal-based crackwhore!" :wink:
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Mellers »

KlaxonCow wrote:"Buy Crunchy Nut and become a cereal-based crackwhore!" :wink:
:lol:
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Alarm »

I'd just like to say that I loathe the "ISA ISA baby" advert. It reminds me of Vanilla Ice and Jedward which is never a good thing. Oh, and the advert is terrible too.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Ratsoap »

Also the Pringles ad with the Parliament tune, except it's 'we've got the fun'. Without the 'k' that tune is shit.

Quite like the new Irn Bru ad.

Because fucking marketing cunts would never call a spade anything other than a Deluxe Easi-Shift Earth Movement Solution.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by luckynumber16 »

Homebase. The whistling ad. You know the one.

Well, ALL furniture ads. How the hell often do people buy furniture??? We just get our furniture re-covered every 20 years :P
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by luckynumber16 »

The "Hit me at 30...." adverts
Creeeeeepy.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by merman »

Barry Norman is the latest to tarnish his soul, shilling for an accident compensation company... it's a terrible advert, using Laurel & Hardy too.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Yak »

Bloody cosmetics ads getting worse. There was one on last night that claimed the product was "inspired by 25 years of research". "Inspired by" means that the research needn't have had anything to do with the actual product - indeed it could have been "inspired" by 25 years of somebody else's research into bloody anything at all. Completely fucking useless statement.

There's another one where they are hawking some little pot of snake-oil cream to gullible women - for £30 a fucking pot, at that - and one of the claims is that it appears to show ACTUAL RESULTS (to 70% of gullible women in some special Gullible Women Survey probably consisting of the wives and daughters of the company directors, and even 30% of THOSE must have thought that the super-expensive wonder goo did precisely fuck all, hardly a ringing endorsement).

It's a bit fucking sad when "DOES SOMETHING PERCEPTIBLE!" is a major claim. And the small print at the bottom of the screen probably dilutes that to "has the APPEARANCE of doing something perceptible, sometimes, and not for long".

"Inspired by gene science" my fat veiny beastcock. Fucking cosmetics ads.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Yak »

Also Stephen Fucking Fry. The more I hear his plummy tones in those fucking insurance ads the more I want to smash his poncy head in with his ill-gotten iPad. Cunt.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Alarm »

Not a TV ad, but I used a cashpoint recently (Alliance & Leicester) and it had an animated advert on the screen for a mobile 'phone. That's the first time I've seen a cashpoint advertise non-bank stuff. I hope this isn't a growing trend.

It may be the case that they've been advertising stuff for years; I usually always use my bank's cashpoint.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Alarm »

Yak wrote:Also Stephen Fucking Fry. The more I hear his plummy tones in those fucking insurance ads the more I want to smash his poncy head in with his ill-gotten iPad. Cunt.
The situation isn't helped by the fact that those adverts try and be funny or witty and fail miserably.
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Dungeon-Dave »

Alarm wrote:
Yak wrote:Also Stephen Fucking Fry. The more I hear his plummy tones in those fucking insurance ads the more I want to smash his poncy head in with his ill-gotten iPad. Cunt.
The situation isn't helped by the fact that those adverts try and be funny or witty and fail miserably.
Probably because Fry never wrote the advert - is just used to front it. (Against his better judgement, possibly).
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by arron »

Yak wrote:Bloody cosmetics ads getting worse. There was one on last night that claimed the product was "inspired by 25 years of research". "Inspired by" means that the research needn't have had anything to do with the actual product - indeed it could have been "inspired" by 25 years of somebody else's research into bloody anything at all. Completely fucking useless statement.

There's another one where they are hawking some little pot of snake-oil cream to gullible women - for £30 a fucking pot, at that - and one of the claims is that it appears to show ACTUAL RESULTS (to 70% of gullible women in some special Gullible Women Survey probably consisting of the wives and daughters of the company directors, and even 30% of THOSE must have thought that the super-expensive wonder goo did precisely fuck all, hardly a ringing endorsement).

It's a bit fucking sad when "DOES SOMETHING PERCEPTIBLE!" is a major claim. And the small print at the bottom of the screen probably dilutes that to "has the APPEARANCE of doing something perceptible, sometimes, and not for long".

"Inspired by gene science" my fat veiny beastcock. Fucking cosmetics ads.
I refer the Minister for Sheep Affairs In Wales to the following document. Part 2 has a good round up of the horseshit they use to give the impression of facts whilst avoiding any sort of actual evidence that you can actually investigate, let alone having passed some kind of peer review.





And if you want to see why we've become the willing drooling bitch of advertisers and marketers, then here's another good series to watch. Four hours long, but well worth watching.

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?doc ... 6413643126
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?doc ... 3224520614
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?doc ... 4894802811
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?doc ... 8497501036
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Re: Ads that get right on your tits

Post by Alarm »

There is an advert. for a yoghurt on TV at the moment, where we see a woman eating a sour yoghurt which she obviously dislikes eating. She then tries the new product and her face lights up. Two things:

1. Why did she continue to eat the sour yoghurt in the first place if she didn't like it?
2. I dislike that ad.
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