On being "Crew"

[Yak]

I don't know what to say, except that there have been very few occasions in my life upon which I have been so powerfully moved as I have been reading through this thread.

Thank you... such small words for something that I feel so much... I don't know what to say. Except that without Llamasofties there would have been no Llamasoft.

There's a band I like who, although their lyrics are generally nonsense, somehow manage to convey how I feel about this:

i'm hurting no one. hurting no one. i want to give you everything. i want to give you energy. i want to give a good thing. i want to give you everything.

Hurting no-one...

Goat... it scares me... but I promise you all, I will do my be(a)st not to disappoint you, to betray the trust you have in me.

I want to give you everything.

I'm going to fucking try as hard as I can to do that.

\
(:-) - Yak
/

[Jimmy T. @]

Just catching up with this thread and others.

Can't add much more on top of what has already been said... but how in hell could anyone ever feel excluded from a friendly place like this?!?

Best of luck with everything Jeff, extremely exciting times are ahead methinks and I for one can't wait

[alexmcchesney]

As Gribbles (kinda) said, part of what's so good about this place is that, while we're (mostly) all here because of one shared interest (the work of a certain Mr Minter), it goes above and beyond that. If that was the only subject to talk about, it wouldn't have survived. What's wonderful is that it has attracted such a friendly, interesting, tolerant bunch.

I think it says something about Jeff's work that it tends to appeal to especially fluffy people. I think that's something to be proud of!

[Sickboy]

*Wanders in*...

Sorry I'm late.

Amazing stuff, Jeff. It's a reflection of how much you treasure this community that you felt compelled to clarify everything with such passion.

I love this place because it wired me into a group of sharp, creative people at a time when the reality of a withering social life was starting to dim the glow of new parenthood. It seemed that all I did was talk about kids to other people with kids.

And then, suddenly, I was talking about Robotron and doughnuts and music and rollercoasters and toast toppings and Donnie Darko and poetry and obscure Japanese shoot-'em-ups and Vanilla Coke and darts and depression and The Simpsons and fucking EVERYTHING.

Cliques aren’t necessarily a bad thing. I have my own little mental cliques around this forum...

'Wish I Could See And Talk To More'
Elizian, Muttley, mamemeister, Bog, RiK, Shob, Jed, sty, fflip, PVB, nitebycandlelite, Chris, Jimaroid, gribbles…

'Dying To Meet'
dtj, moobaa, everklear, hairy_pete...

'Feel Strangely Connected To, But Haven't Even Met'
Jon, D.K. Tronics, gordon...

'High-Score Rivals'
Fox, Mayhem, PaulEMoz, Mr Anderson, SiKrAiKeN, CharlieF...

'Feel I've Known All My Life'
Fuseball, koworld, Ely, korruptor...

'Hardly Spoken To, Looking Forward To Speaking To More In The Future'
Harlequin, Snakey, lardygaz...

'Forgot To Mention In My Clique List Thing, But No Less Treasured...'
etc.


I came here purely as a gamer who loved Llamatron and Tempest 2000 and wondered what that Jeff Minter bloke was up to, these days. I loved the games because they were outrageously playable and full of great references and humour. It was clear they'd been devised by someone with truckloads of talent who got off on the same super-twitchy, seat-of-pants, Eugene Jarvis-esque lunacy that I did.

Sixteen-odd months after I registered, I honestly can't imagine life without this forum. As I said, it's broadened my social world, inspired me creatively, kicked off one or two side projects (Fuseball and I are writing a shoot-'em-up - be afraid ), educated me (I was a total tech-dunce, pre-forum - now I'm sort of intermediate level), allowed me to explore all kinds of side-passions (rollercoasters, music mixing, the Rodent stuff...).

Jeff - you have every right to be bloated with pride over this place. It's turned Unity into surely the most inclusive gaming project ever developed - all that hands-on feedback, day-to-day enthusiasm, idea-swapping, anticipation. Any artist (and their art) would benefit from working in this kind of environment. You're blessed, mate.

The very nature of Unity means that the 'Crew' element has to be fluid. The Warp Christmas Rave will always be one of my keenest memories - both for the way we tore up the place, and for how anyone who asked for "a go" so quickly entered that mesmerised, fly-catching, 'breakage' zone. It felt kind of odd taking our bows and receiving applause at the end of the night, because everyone who tried it was part of the performance, became part of the mission.

Unity is a very, very good name indeed.

[hyphz]

I can only echo what's been said so far. The people on this forum, and in person when I've met them, have been among the most inclusive, welcoming, trustworthy and trusting people I've ever encountered. And Yak's own attitude is wonderful - sadly not as common as it should be in general, and practically unique among celebrities (yes, he is...)

Thing is, though, that I can empathise with folks who feel a bit excluded - and it's not through the fault of anybody here. I'm going to do a waffly experience post here. Remember that I posted before how I was a bit nervous that I'd be left out at RV1 and in practise found that everyone was really cool and inclusive? Well, as I was leaving on the first night, I felt absolutely stoked and energised by what had happened...

... and then my thoughts began to darken a bit. I mean, sure, they were all super cool guys - but if I can't code, or draw, or mix, or organise events, or didn't have some talent like that like so many of the folks there did, then what could I have to talk about, or to contribute? The thought of not coding was especially nasty for me, because when I was a kid I always wanted to be a game developer (an ambition inspired by.. well, have a guess..) and feeling that the industry had changed to make that unappealing by the time I got to the right age was bad; but feeling that others were doing it anyway outside the industry and I wasn't, and therefore I had knocked myself off my own track, was devastating.

Fortunately, there was an abatement there. I wasn't alone. I was with Bog, who lives just a few roads from me and was going back on the same train. The train on the way back - and a visit to his house afterwards - consisted of us alternately talking about similar things and him blowing my eyes apart with his animation renders. And that, somehow, turned everything around. I realised the fact that everyone knows they're all in this together, regardless. The fact that everyone has so much in common regardless. The fact that I didn't need to worry about contributions so much, because they weren't really required. And, of course, the fact that this mega-talented individual (and I have always admired graphic artists especially, simply because I have absolutely zero ability or even perception of how ability is formed in that area) had been prepared to listen to this random guy he'd only just met that day waffling about his random feelings while on a train.

(And that's why I was so baffled when later, Bog posted an apology for scaring people. )

So I can understand if new folks can feel inferior, and as a result feel excluded. Their feelings aren't justified in either regard - but that doesn't help much with feelings. What happens here is very special, and if someone hasn't personally experienced exactly how special it is it's possible to get the wrong idea. So I'm ever grateful to Bog for opening my eyes, and to Yak for inspiring the whole thing, and to Mark for cementing it all together.

But I do still so wanna have a go on VLM3.

[RiK]

I dread to think what state my life would be in if I hadn't wandered down to Oxford for that first retrovision, or joined the forum on Rik's advice. I'd be a lot darker inside, that I know for sure.

Aww shucks.....

/me hugs Korruptor

[Mr Anderson]

I'm new to this community and I can say that I definitely don't feel excluded. In fact, as soon as I registered the welcome was amazing. Everybody seems to go out of their way to be helpful and welcome newcomers to the fold.

These are indeed the fluffiest forums on the net and after reading Yak's posts I can see that Jeff is one of the reasons for this fluffiness. Keep up the good work everybody - I only wish it hadn't taken me so long to find my way here.

[RiK]

Jesus. That night. There is a small part of me that will be forever standing behind the Flight Deck, gazing at visions I've never seen before and lack the vocabulary to describe adequately and that I'm fucking controlling, and feeling Rather Emotional.

One of those life-changing moments, without a doubt.

Its true you know, I will remember that night for as long as I live.

/me hugs EVERYBODY....

[mamemeister]

I can't code, or draw, or mix, or organise events, or didn't have some talent like that like so many of the folks there did, then what could I have to talk about, or to contribute?

Heck, I cant code or program, hold done a mundane job and my grammar and spelling is shite. But can proudly say I feel so welcome here and can count a good few here as dammed good mates, despite living 300 miles away from most. Its whats in here that counts **Mame points to heart**

[Fuseball]

I mean, sure, they were all super cool guys - but if I can't code, or draw, or mix, or organise events, or didn't have some talent like that like so many of the folks there did, then what could I have to talk about, or to contribute?

I felt exactly the same the first time I tagged along with Sickboy on a trip to Jeff's. Although I was made to feel very welcome by everyone who was there (I'd met most of them at the Warp Rave a couple of months earlier), I still felt a little nervous and detached from what was going on. It wasn't until I had my first play with the VLM that my tongue loosened and it dawned on me that just by "getting it" and expressing my enthusiasm (babbling incoherently for the most part) that I was contributing something.

I can't thank everyone here enough for making me feel like I have a place in this community, making me feel that I belong. Like Sickboy, I can't imagine what life would be like without these forums. I hope that I never forget how bad things could be before, and that I never take this community and these friendships for granted.

*hugs to all*

[Bluey]

... and then my thoughts began to darken a bit. I mean, sure, they were all super cool guys - but if I can't code, or draw, or mix, or organise events, or didn't have some talent like that like so many of the folks there did, then what could I have to talk about, or to contribute?

I know so little about computers, I'm sure it makes Kor wince ( ) but I've learnt a lot since being here and meeting all the lovely peeps that I have met. I don't feel like I have any particular talent like most people here, I work in admin FFS! But for the first time in my life I feel like I have come home... For the first time ever I feel like I truly belong, and believe me, when you've lived in as many places as I have and lost so many friends along the way (lived in 6 countries and everyone I knew moved constantly - never the same friends in school for more than a year...) feeling like an outsider becomes the norm... In England I'm the Dutch girl, in Holland I'm the English girl etc... But here, with all of you, I'm just me, I can be as mad as I really am and I don't feel like I have to hide behind a mask to ‘fit in’...

Like Sickboy and Fuseball, life before llamasoft was dithering into loneliness – yet again my friendship circle had diminished as people moved away… But then Kor went to Retrovision, and met up with a whole bunch of great people, so he introduced me to it all at RV3 (I think it was RV3…) and the rest is history…

As for the 'clique' stuff - I never knew who Yak was until I met him, I know that may sound shocking to most of you guys, but not having been into computers or games before (shock, horror ) I'd never come across any of his work. Yak's a warm, genuine, charismatic and very FLUFFY friend, and I love going down to Wales to scritch the beasties and get off me breasticles with him, RiK, Jed, Kor, Shob, Kel, Philippa, Fuse, and anyone else who happens to be there! (Altwallis rave! Whoohooo!) You guys are my social life, and even though I'm not a techie, or a gamer, I wouldn't want to ever loose any of you.


There, see, I can be talkative when I try... apologies for my numerous spelling mistakes (there's bound to be loads!) but, hey, that's just me.

*HUGS & KNUFFELS*

Emily

[Sickboy]

KNUFFELS

I know what that is, but, coming from you, it kind of suggests some kind of extra-special Dutch confection.

[Elizian]

... and my grammar and spelling is shite. ...

That'll be "... and my grammar and spelling are shite. ...", so I can't really argue /me hugs mamemeister

[stark]

awww. i'm gonna miss you guys keep my sheepies warm for me won't you

[dtj]

This thread is bound for the YakYak archives, for sure...