Ads that get right on your tits

[betamax]

ObTITS: Was I dreaming or did I see an Actimel advert recently saying "well, never mind our pseudoscientific bullshit, then -- it tastes nice!"?

There's nothing more brutal and cannabalistic in modern life than advertisers (maybe cetain tabloids). They'll play a concept (i.e. psuedoscientific horseshit) to the hilt but as soon as enough people get bored and it starts losing it's impact on the semolina for brains crowd those same advertisers will turn on their previous paradigm and tear its arsehole out to eat it's guts. All the while smiling a pasted on smile.

[gilesgoat]

I still think one of the 'best' is that pregnancy test where they show "you are 2 weeks pregnant" or such and then as they
show it there's a subtitle saying "The word 'weeks' is intended for dramatic purposes only and does not refer to any real
week"

Like to say "we are telling you completely bollocks and we are even telling you but we want you to buy it the same".

Finally I got some "revenge" when I saw that Cow & Gate ads I think they forced them to put the subtitle saying
"Cow milk is NOT a good source of iron" ( i.e. if you eat/drink something that contains nothing or close to nothing of iron
of course you'd have to eat/drink an enormous quantity of it to get some iron ) and also ( and that's funny ) the part
that says that basically "you can't get all the iron you need ONLY thanks to Cow & Gate BUT it HAS to be part of a good
diet that MAY include Cow & Gate".

'This product will give you the energy of 100 glasses of water'
'.. which is close to zero because a glass of water has almost no energy at all'
'.. which still you can't get in reality from it because you need much more else to get it'
'.. in which case our product may or may not do something for you'
'.. however buy it, because we say so even if it could be useless for you'

Or like the "may do something for people on a restricted diet" ..

Which means "if you are NOT on a restricted diet you won't need it at all".

And so on ..

[Governmentyard]

How can a letter actually cost £25? I mean is it printed on special super expensive paper and hand delivered by liveried delivery people in a posh carriage? It seems to me such letters arrive on similar stationery and in a similar manner to things like bank statements, which don't cost anywhere near £25.

So where does that figure come from, or is it just an arbitrary amount they decide they are going to rip you off for?

The £25 makes a standard current account free for those of us who don't steal money from the banks by going overdrawn when they have no agreement to do so. I used to send those letters out for a living, believe me for every person who had 'unwittingly' gone overdrawn (because it's impossible to see how much you've got in your account before you spend money these days, isn't it?) there were many more who'd got a £100 mobile phone bill or the full sky sports package taking them over the limit.

[Yak]

So it's an arbitrary amount then rather than the "cost of a letter". Why don't they just come right out with it and call it a fine?

[gumboot]

So it's an arbitrary amount then rather than the "cost of a letter". Why don't they just come right out with it and call it a fine?

Presumably for the same reason as they ask stupid questions for lotteries. They need a technicality to make it legally something different from what it really is because what it really is is something they're not allowed to do.

The £25 makes a standard current account free for those of us who don't steal money from the banks by going overdrawn when they have no agreement to do so

If they don't want someone going over the limit, then just don't hand over the money.

A lot of accounts aren't free anymore, anyway. They're trying to do away with them, and when you do start paying regular account maintenance charges do they stop with the unarranged overdraft fees? No, they do not.

I used to send those letters out for a living, believe me for every person who had 'unwittingly' gone overdrawn (because it's impossible to see how much you've got in your account before you spend money these days, isn't it?) there were many more who'd got a £100 mobile phone bill or the full sky sports package taking them over the limit.

What distinction are you driving at, here?

[gilesgoat]

How can a letter actually cost £25? I mean is it printed on special super expensive paper and hand delivered by liveried delivery people in a posh carriage? It seems to me such letters arrive on similar stationery and in a similar manner to things like bank statements, which don't cost anywhere near £25.

So where does that figure come from, or is it just an arbitrary amount they decide they are going to rip you off for?

The £25 makes a standard current account free for those of us who don't steal money from the banks by going overdrawn when they have no agreement to do so. I used to send those letters out for a living, believe me for every person who had 'unwittingly' gone overdrawn (because it's impossible to see how much you've got in your account before you spend money these days, isn't it?) there were many more who'd got a £100 mobile phone bill or the full sky sports package taking them over the limit.

The thing is I was absolutely NOT aware of such a service/thing, maybe it's written somewhere in VERY TINY letters in
the bank contract I have or such.

I was used to think that with a debit card you CANNOT take out more money than what is in, and that in case you'd try
your transaction would be promptly refused saying "no money in" or such.

Now about not knowing no, in fact before I spend/get any money/when I do from my account I always get a print/statement
first/after so I always know how much is in.

In this case I've been caught by two things a) the place that wanted unexpected money NOW and b) the fact I knew a
certain money transaction had to be done but I did not know that actually it was delayed ( i.e. someone forgot to do it
on time did it a few days later ).

As this been done at a dentist's recption desk with a machine with no possibility to check in and in quite a hurry I
thought "OK, it should be all fine anyway, in case the card will decline".

But no I really had NO IDEA of the existence of this "unplanned overdraft" service.

I already tought more than once, seriously, to withdraw ALL my money from the bank and/or transfer it somewhere else
and/or convert it into something else, the only reason I do have a bank is because it makes more practical to send
payments there rather than cashing them or such.

However many times I did consider in "finding some better solution".

I categorically refused credit cards and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, next time I'll be in the bank I'll
have a word or two about "wtf this unplanned service".

[gilesgoat]

We were discussing yesterday on the facts that some people have always a way to cover/make up for raising costs
while others don't.

Something goes up for your bank ? No problem, they'll put up your costs of something according.

Something goes up for some food chain ? No problem, they'll raise up the prices ( probably spreading a bit there and there )
of what they sell.

And so on ..

Except that when it comes down to the SW Indie Devloper you cannot say "no problem, I'll raise the cost of the SW I sell"
as no .. you are "locked" actually if you raise your prices you really risk "you are not going to sell a shit".

So there are some people that are always on the receiving end of a chain and there's absolutely nothing they can do but
sustain all the weight of everything else that raises.

Like the end consumer for example.

Imagine if we'd say "if you want to get some in-deep sights or our blog news" you have to pay 25 pounds a month for
doing that.

Nobody would ever buy that.

[gilesgoat]

How can a letter actually cost £25? I mean is it printed on special super expensive paper and hand delivered by liveried delivery people in a posh carriage? It seems to me such letters arrive on similar stationery and in a similar manner to things like bank statements, which don't cost anywhere near £25.

So where does that figure come from, or is it just an arbitrary amount they decide they are going to rip you off for?

The £25 makes a standard current account free for those of us who don't steal money from the banks by going overdrawn when they have no agreement to do so. I used to send those letters out for a living, believe me for every person who had 'unwittingly' gone overdrawn (because it's impossible to see how much you've got in your account before you spend money these days, isn't it?) there were many more who'd got a £100 mobile phone bill or the full sky sports package taking them over the limit.

Are you a specialist/masochist in finding those jobs people will hate you for ?

[gumboot]

but as soon as enough people get bored and it starts losing it's impact on the semolina for brains crowd those same advertisers will turn on their previous paradigm and tear its arsehole out to eat it's guts.

I think they're just part of the crowd that have been ordered to stop talking shit.

Finally I got some "revenge" when I saw that Cow & Gate ads I think they forced them to put the subtitle saying
"Cow milk is NOT a good source of iron"

I remember Nutella being advertised as having "less fat than peanut butter".

[Rubisco]

How can a letter actually cost £25? I mean is it printed on special super expensive paper and hand delivered by liveried delivery people in a posh carriage? It seems to me such letters arrive on similar stationery and in a similar manner to things like bank statements, which don't cost anywhere near £25.

So where does that figure come from, or is it just an arbitrary amount they decide they are going to rip you off for?

The £25 makes a standard current account free for those of us who don't steal money from the banks by going overdrawn when they have no agreement to do so. I used to send those letters out for a living, believe me for every person who had 'unwittingly' gone overdrawn (because it's impossible to see how much you've got in your account before you spend money these days, isn't it?) there were many more who'd got a £100 mobile phone bill or the full sky sports package taking them over the limit.

No, what makes a standard current account free is the fact you're handing over your money to the bank which they can use to invest, making a shitload of money and paying a meagre amount of interest back for the privilege. No, people shouldn't go overdrawn without permission but we shouldn't forget that we're doing the bank a favour with our custom.

[Rubisco]

ObTITS: Was I dreaming or did I see an Actimel advert recently saying "well, never mind our pseudoscientific bullshit, then -- it tastes nice!"?

Martine McCutcheon is the last person who should be advertising yoghurt after those Bo Selecta sketches...

[gilesgoat]

I'll have to read the tiny letters and such of the contract in full once ( it's fuck load of pages ).

What pisses me off is about the fact I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA that I ever signed or accepted or anything about an
"unplanned overdraft" function of ANY kind, if it was/is "standard part of the contract" ok mea culpa I totally missed that.

Fundamentally I feel like "I've been charged for something I absolutely did NOT ask for and of which I was totally unaware of".

A bit like you go in a pub, you take beer and then on the bill they'd put you "Oh btw I am charging you 25 pounds as you
sit on that chair" and you go "Eh ? I did not know I was supposed not to/pay to sit on a chair".

One of the reason one wants a debit card instead of a credit card is EXACTLY that one, be sure NOT to be able to go
overdraft, the money or is in there or there is not, end of the story.

In that case I would have expected the machine to refuse the transition and tell me "sorry, no money in, can't do that".

Also .. can someone explain me how if I have "X credit in my bank account" in reality it seems any ATM does not allow
me to get cash out to empty it or such, looks like they always want you to keep at least 50 .. 100 pounds in or so.

As I said "next time I am down the bank they are going to hear a word or two from me asking quite a few questions".

[edit] and ALSO, it quite pisses me off the fact you CANNOT simply say "OK &*$&*@#^ here is your (*&$(*#@$ money
get it and stop that shit" .. no .. because even if you pay instantly, actually you'll be charged for it 3 months later.

Now is shit on shit on more shit.

Banks ? They can all fuck off, far and wide.

[edit2] - actually I could be "super evil", I am going to take ALL my money in UK and move it all in Italy so I'd deplete
the UK country from currency and pounds, and those would be really "lost"

[Yak]

So it's an arbitrary amount then rather than the "cost of a letter". Why don't they just come right out with it and call it a fine?

Presumably for the same reason as they ask stupid questions for lotteries. They need a technicality to make it legally something different from what it really is because what it really is is something they're not allowed to do.

Yeah, at this point they lose all sympathy from me. If they need to employ some weaselly trick in order to levy a fee they wouldn't be allowed to do upfront then they're just as bad as the people they're supposedly protecting themselves against.

If someone is going to charge me £25 for some product or service then I expect to agree to it first upfront, not have it arbitrarily imposed. And by "agree" I mean properly, as in deciding it's something I want, not something buried in a bunch of legal crap that nobody ever reads when you sign up.

Ridiculous cases where these "costs" then push an account into overdraft for which even *more* charges are then imposed only serve to further expose these things for what they are - weaselly systems put in place deliberately to exploit edge conditions in order to get money out of the very people who can least afford it.

[GigerPunk]

ObTITS: Was I dreaming or did I see an Actimel advert recently saying "well, never mind our pseudoscientific bullshit, then -- it tastes nice!"?

There's nothing more brutal and cannabalistic in modern life than advertisers (maybe cetain tabloids).

Well, that sounds like the ideal opportunity to wheel this one out...

(Let's not get onto shaving products)

Finally I got some "revenge" when I saw that Cow & Gate ads I think they forced them to put the subtitle saying
"Cow milk is NOT a good source of iron"
'This product will give you the energy of 100 glasses of water'
'.. which is close to zero because a glass of water has almost no energy at all'
'.. which still you can't get in reality from it because you need much more else to get it'
'.. in which case our product may or may not do something for you'
'.. however buy it, because we say so even if it could be useless for you'

Reminds me of what I saw on the back of a packet of dry-roasted peanuts once.
"This packet of peanuts contains as much vitamin C as an apple!"
Ah yes, the apple. Famous for it's citrusy Vitamin-C packed properties is the apple isn't it?
Which I pointed out to the guy selling it (snack trolley, big corporate office, mid-afternoon feeding time for the livestock y'see)
His response? <confused grunt>

Imagine if we'd say "if you want to get some in-deep sights or our blog news" you have to pay 25 pounds a month for
doing that.
Nobody would ever buy that.

Maybe not £25 per month but there's a certain someone out there who charges a tenth of that, isn't there?
But no, I suspect no-one would pay that when you give away so many tweets for free for a start...
Maybe you could put something at the end of each tweet that links to some devilishly worded contract that states that, by reading each tweet, you have automatically agreed to some binding terms whereby you have to pay 25p for each one received?
Just under 1000 followers * 25p per tweet = ???
Well, would probably = 0 followers very VERY quickly, but just a thought.

[Alarm]

That advert with potatoes being tickled is annoying. It's the sound more than anything.