Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

[(o)(o)]

Vegetarians only in our bathroom.

[gumboot]

I remember speculating on how it's the digested protein in poo, suggesting a carnivorous diet, suggesting a predator (and a threat) which makes humans perceive the smell of carnivore poo as being so much more offensive than herbivore poo. This led to much tittering as the Atkins follower in the office walked past.

[merman]

What about my ileostomy bag, can I empty that at a friend's house?

[Yak]

When I'm pooping at a friend's house I am very considerate about it, grunting loudly as I pass stool to let them know that I'm in the toilet. It'd be beyond rude to submit friends to toilet door locked door handle rattling embarrassment misery.

[gravy]

If I poo in freinds house is because they are a freind but then I fall out with them and they are no longer freind then can I go to ex-freinds house and get poo back to put in real freinds house?

[Yak]

My rich friend has six toilets in his house especially for visitors. I always eat three curries and take laxatives before I visit him because it'd be terribly rude not to poop in his house.

[gumboot]

If I poo in freinds house is because they are a freind but then I fall out with them and they are no longer freind then can I go to ex-freinds house and get poo back to put in real freinds house?

You may be eligible for a partial poo rebate, depending on the time between the poo and the falling-out, the time taken creating said poo, and which toilet you used. Percentages vary depending on whether it was an upstairs or downstairs toilet, the amount of toilet paper used (all the better if you used a towel or toothbrush instead), and there's an additional 10% ensuite bonus.

Some claimants and stragegic pooers have been known to recover more than the original poo itself.

HTH

[Whiteball]

To save any embarrassment simply lay a couple of sheets of paper on the top of the water first.
This, I'm reliably informed, stops any embarrassing torpedo splash noises and the bog doesn't end up looking like the starting grid at Santa Pod

[Harlequin]

To save any embarrassment simply lay a couple of sheets of paper on the top of the water first.
This, I'm reliably informed, stops any embarrassing torpedo splash noises and the bog doesn't end up looking like the starting grid at Santa Pod

One thing that does irritate me is people using too much toilet paper. Surely fewer than a dozen sheets per shit should be enough!

[gumboot]

One thing that does irritate me is people using too much toilet paper. Surely fewer than a dozen sheets per shit should be enough!

Once lived with a girl who made the difference between three people using one roll per week (or longer, it becomes hard [and uninteresting] to monitor) and four people using one roll a day.

[tufty]

One thing that does irritate me is people using too much toilet paper. Surely fewer than a dozen sheets per shit should be enough!

Once lived with a girl who made the difference between three people using one roll per week (or longer, it becomes hard [and uninteresting] to monitor) and four people using one roll a day.

That's my wife you're talking about, that is.

[CableTwitch]

To save any embarrassment simply lay a couple of sheets of paper on the top of the water first.
This, I'm reliably informed, stops any embarrassing torpedo splash noises and the bog doesn't end up looking like the starting grid at Santa Pod

The unfortunate downside to this is that if the shit itself isn't dropped with enough force to push the paper down with it under the waterline, it WILL start to stink. You get the actual turd version of 'Silent-but-deadly', in effect.

[Meow]

To save any embarrassment simply lay a couple of sheets of paper on the top of the water first.
This, I'm reliably informed, stops any embarrassing torpedo splash noises and the bog doesn't end up looking like the starting grid at Santa Pod

One thing that does irritate me is people using too much toilet paper. Surely fewer than a dozen sheets per shit should be enough!

You don't eat enough fresh fruits and vegetables. Perhaps.

[Glyndwr]

As long as you don't leave big skiddies in the bowl or hand-shaped shit prints on the walls you're polly okay!

[gribbles]

So hand shaped shit prints in the bowl are OK?

Phew!