Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Inane baanter or words of wisdom - you decide...
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by PFVA »

(o)(o) wrote:This guy I know was saying after a hernia operation he didn't shit for like a week.. when he went it was the size of a football and wouldn't flush.. he was in a bad way due to the op and had nobody to help.. so out of desperation he got a stick from the garden and tried to mash it up in the bowl, but it sttill wouldn't flush, so he started scooping it into bags and was taking it outside to dump at the end of the garden. That's when his neighbour appeared and he had to explain what he was doing...
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by gravy »

Yeah I was caught short after going round a freinds house for a poo.

Nothing would come out.

Luckily I was well prepared and had a medium sized dundee cake with me so left that in the bowl. Embarrassment avoided.

The funny thing was though, I shit myself on the way home!
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by tufty »

(o)(o) wrote:This guy I know was saying after a hernia operation he didn't shit for like a week.. when he went it was the size of a football and wouldn't flush.. he was in a bad way due to the op and had nobody to help.. so out of desperation he got a stick from the garden and tried to mash it up in the bowl, but it sttill wouldn't flush, so he started scooping it into bags and was taking it outside to dump at the end of the garden. That's when his neighbour appeared and he had to explain what he was doing...
If we're on "shitting stories", this one in freinds house is...

A friend / regular sofa-crasher of mine went to India for a month. 24 hours before leaving for the UK, he got a bad case of Delhi belly, which made entire concept of the flight back rather "fraught". So he took some imodium. Not "an" imodium, rather "a pack" of imodium. Which got him through the flight - fair enough. So he came back to the flat, slept for a day or two, and everything appeared to be OK, hell, he was even back at work. Until he exited the bathroom looking rather sheepish one morning. Apparently he'd been shaving, suddenly had a slight urge to fart, and about 6 day's worth of septic, liquid, and, above all, foul smelling stomach contents had made itself forcefully out through the orifice provided therefore. Before he'd been able to put down his razor, let alone make it to the toilet.

It took 3 days for our badly-ventilated, basement bathroom to even come close to being enterable, let alone usable. I took my showers at friend's house for a week.

He's still a friend, though.

I've got a good one about burying stuff in the back garden, too. Not poo, though.
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by gravy »

Did you piss in the shower?
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by tufty »

gravy wrote:Did you piss in the shower?
Nah, we had a toilet upstairs as well. Bloody good job, really, especially as no-one owned a hat. Although there were a few motorcycle helmets lying about, so in a pinch ...
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by rowan »

Last year I nipped into the public bogs in town to take a leak just before the shops shut.

The attendant shuffled over, pointed at the first cubicle and said "'ere 'ave a look in there at the job I've got before I go"
I never realised such a thing was possible, no word of a lie there was a shit at least 12" long and about 4" diameter in the bowl, slightly pointing toward the U bend where it had clearly held off repeated flushes.
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by (o)(o) »

PFVA wrote:
(o)(o) wrote:This guy I know was saying after a hernia operation he didn't shit for like a week.. when he went it was the size of a football and wouldn't flush.. he was in a bad way due to the op and had nobody to help.. so out of desperation he got a stick from the garden and tried to mash it up in the bowl, but it sttill wouldn't flush, so he started scooping it into bags and was taking it outside to dump at the end of the garden. That's when his neighbour appeared and he had to explain what he was doing...
Prune Juice!
Prune juice solves the problem of constipation induced by after surgery medications and it avoids all possible and subsequent problems.
Never tried prune juice, I have used beetroot for this purpose which I don't know if it's as effective but seemed to work quite well. You do have to remember though as the beet colours your pee/poop like blood it can be a shock if you forgot it.
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by Glyndwr »

Chip-shop curry does it for me every time! 30 minutes later. Gotta go!

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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by Chuffmeister »

Do you think friend should come into when house is shit made?
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by AlbertKatraz »

gumboot wrote:
AlbertKatraz wrote:I had a poo in someone's loo once and and accidentally blocked it.
I then figured that flushing it again would sort out the problem.
It didn't.
It went all over the floor.
:cry:
My greatest fear.

It could only be worse if it backfired and shot poo all over the ceiling.
I had that in a German toilet. You know, the sort where they've got a 'dry plinth' where you poo lands instead of going in the water. After I'd finished, when I flushed, the water jet hit the poo from the back and part of it took off.

Terrible design for that, and I did learn that my poo really smells if it's not immediately submerged like in a good old fashioned no-nonsense 'British Toilet'.
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by silentshark »

So what about pooing at work, then. Go for it, or hold it in?
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by Whiteball »

silentshark wrote:So what about pooing at work, then. Go for it, or hold it in?
Go for it. In fact, go for it multiple times. Take a book even. Take as long as you want too, it's not your time!
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by KlaxonCow »

silentshark wrote:So what about pooing at work, then. Go for it, or hold it in?
It's probably wisest to hold it in, at least until you reach the toilet.

As work colleagues can sometimes be a little picky with that whole "don't shit on the floor of the office" rule and insist that you don't do your business whilst you're doing business.

Turds on the work desk can be "off-putting" to potential clients, apparently. We live and learn, eh?
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by (o)(o) »

silentshark wrote:So what about pooing at work, then. Go for it, or hold it in?
Hold it in.. for what purpose ?
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Re: Do think have a poo in freinds house is?

Post by Whiteball »

(o)(o) wrote:
silentshark wrote:So what about pooing at work, then. Go for it, or hold it in?
Hold it in.. for what purpose ?
So you can answer that pesky phone on your desk that keeps ringing all day?
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