Coronavirus Pandemic

[Ratsoap]

Will let you know about side effects, but hopefully this is the one that finally rewrites my DNA so I become a techno-organic cyborg!

The toxins will be activated tomorrow. High up biologist said so.

[KlaxonCow]

Yes, the high up biologist who's a good honest mate of "the sovereign citizen"...

...just happily confirming that the evil plan to kill us all is happening tomorrow. Probably just casually mentioned over a pint down the pub.

"Yeah, you know that evil plan to murder everyone that I've been involved with? Which is how I know, of course, when the evil plan is going to occur, because I'm 'high up' in the evil conspiracy. That's happening tomorrow.

Thought I'd just let you know that the tyrannical global genocide, that I'm apparently completely okay with, is scheduled for half 3.

Oh, by the way, even though I know you're a blogger who goes by the name of "sovereign citizen" and tweets about this shit, and the evil conspiracies, and everything... don't go mentioning it anyone, yeah? The evil plan is meant to be very secret.

Okay, my round next. Yours is a Thatcher's cider, right?"

Ah, yes, Sovereign citizen's good and honest mate. Who's also "high up" in the conspiracy to commit genocide of the vast majority of the human race. That good and honest guy that he is. You can totally trust my mate, as he's always good and honest... when he's not trying to murder everyone.

So, folks, remember to talk to your hands - pretending that there's some magical tyrant in the sky listening, when there clearly isn't - because who can save us from this terrible human conspiracy? Ah, the bloke who, you know, flooded the planet and murdered everyone (save Noah and a few animals, for a doomed "do over" that hasn't fixed the problem at all), in a childish tantrum that the humans he created to have freewill - and it's very important they have freewill, to the point that God must keep himself hidden at all times, to ensure we "have faith" - were exercising that freewill, not to quite do what he wanted us to do. So, you have freewill - but if you fuck up and choose the wrong thing with your freewill, then he'll murder us all and then burn us for all eternity. But, like, it's totally up to you. Do what you like. You have freewill... until you don't, and then I ensure you suffer eternal agony for the rest of all infinity. But, really, it's up to you. And, no, I'm not gaslighting you. Honest.

Because that always fixes things, right?

"I will pray for you".

Great. And when you're deep in the shit, I will talk to a brick wall on your behalf as well. Hope that helps.

[PFVA]

Will let you know about side effects, but hopefully this is the one that finally rewrites my DNA so I become a techno-organic cyborg!

The toxins will be activated tomorrow. High up biologist said so.

Uau! So much going in the world I don't know about.

Is it tomorrow? From the one I took on Dec 27th last year. Or it will be the one I'm taking in November and the effect will be in October of next year?

[F-ZeroOne]

Well, as long as I get to see the latest "Rick and Morty" episode then...

Slight mild ache across the arms and shoulders now, consistent with my last two doses. Forgot to mention I'm recovering from a cold, so that might just colour what I'm feeling a little.

Edit: Oh, also - bit late for a warning innit? The Forces of Evil have already won. "Sovereign citizen 5.0"s scientist chum knew all about the tyrannical plan, and has done absolutely sod all to stop it. You'd think their "good honest mate" would at least have given them warning enough to prepare for the sudden death of most of the human population (based on the amount of doses administered over the past couple years).

[KlaxonCow]

Edit: Oh, also - bit late for a warning innit? The Forces of Evil have already won. "Sovereign citizen 5.0"s scientist chum knew all about the tyrannical plan, and has done absolutely sod all to stop it. You'd think their "good honest mate" would at least have given them warning enough to prepare for the sudden death of most of the human population (based on the amount of doses administered over the past couple years).

Yeah, he's such a "good and honest mate"... when he's not casually committing genocide.

[F-ZeroOne]

I guess in true conspiracy thriller style their "good and honest mate" could have stumbled across the folder marked "Operation Kill 'Em All!" [1] only recently. But... then decide to just share it with Sovereign Drinking Buddy 5.0? Even if you don't trust the U.N. or similar, there are anti-vaccination organisations or certain politicians who'd give their next KFC bucket for such a thing.

[1] "Secure, Audited Document Storage" has got to be on the "Evil Overlord" list, right?

[Dio]

I'd be fascinated to understand the science behind this "toxin activation" trick .

[KlaxonCow]

I'd be fascinated to understand the science behind this "toxin activation" trick .

Bill Gates has put liquid microchips in the chemicals!!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/52847648

He wants to track us all (for eternally unexplained reasons). It says so on Facebook!

(And, you know, let's just enjoy the irony there of people who post on Facebook being deeply worried about being tracked. As they willingly volunteer their personal information to the biggest data mining company on the planet. But, no, it's Bill Gates - whose devoted his later life to charity, on a scale never seen before in human history - who wants to track them with "liquid microchips", allegedly.)


p.s. Yes, I provided the link because I'm sure you'd think I was just making a silly joke otherwise, because no way could people be really believing that Bill Gates is injecting people with "liquid microchips". But, genuinely, that's what the actual conspiracy theory is.

Note that in one version of this conspiracy, Bill Gates wants to track us all. And, in the other, he wants to murder us all. Which is quite the wild variation in motivation there, I feel. And, no, at no point is it ever explained WHY Bill Gates would ever want to do this. He just does because, I don't know, "inherently evil" or something.

[Ratsoap]

I'd be fascinated to understand the science behind this "toxin activation" trick .

5G, innit?

[F-ZeroOne]

I ATEN’T DEAD

Unless the Afterlife looks exactly the same as the Living World, which would suggest God is heavily into asset reuse. She could at least have done a palette swap.

Now have a mild body ache, which for some reason is concentrated across my upper back. I also didn’t sleep very well last night, my brain didn’t seem to want to “switch off”. You may recall a similar thing happened after my first vaccine, but this time round its a somewhat milder version of the same thing; possibly because my mind was expecting something like that to happen, its talked itself into making it happen. Stupid brain!

[merman]

I’ve heard everything now.
The crown shape of the London Stadium and the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony are all connected to coronavirus. And it’s all about Davos and the world’s richest wanting to control everyone

[KlaxonCow]

The crown shape of the London Stadium and the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony are all connected to coronavirus. And it’s all about Davos and the world’s richest wanting to control everyone

Yes, because when I maliciously plan to control and murder everyone, the first thing on my evil agenda is to make sure that there's some kind of symbolism involved.

I must plaster my evil plans with Illuminati triangles everywhere and then make "devil's horns" hand gestures, so that those who aren't "sheeple" can decode the shapes and, thus, work out what my evil plans to control them actually are. So that they are sufficiently forewarned to rise up against me and my evil plans.

This is very important.

I don't know why, but it's just not an evil conspiracy unless there's some kind of shape or numerology involved, for no apparent reason.

[F-ZeroOne]

Still not dead. Slow release toxins?

[tufty]

I'm dead. I suggest you check that you weren't given a placebo

[merman]

I'm dead. I suggest you check that you weren't given a placebo

I asked for a placebo, but my doctor wouldn’t prescribe one for my hypochondria...

Due to get my flu shot on Saturday, need to book my COVID booster.