Gay?

darkladywolf · Post by **darkladywolf** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:16 pm 0

I've noticed a lot of guys seem to worry about looking gay or being percieved as gay because of what they wear or how they act.

Funnily enough the only woman I remember worried about looking 'too dykey' was a Lesbian and she was going through a 'am I too masculine?' stage. Then she got over it.

Why do guys worry so much?

TFO · Post by **TFO** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:19 pm 0

It's all part of growing up and being British I'm afraid.

bobajob · Post by **bobajob** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:19 pm 0

Is it the fear of anger that straight men would show towards me?

jambo · Post by **jambo** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:22 pm 0

Depends, really... I (and my male friends) constantly take the piss out of each other in a typically pseudo-homophobic manner. It's just male bonding. But then, I believe we're mostly well secure in our sexuality, and only bumjob each other every 2nd Tuesday of a month.

One friend in particular tries to kiss me. I resist, and both our girlfriends look concerned. Or turned on. I get it mixed up, see? He's a lovely guy though.

Fluffiness is all around

l1n3n01z · Post by **l1n3n01z** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:22 pm 0

If you're not intending to look gay, it shows that you have bad taste if you're then perceived as gay.

darkladywolf · Post by **darkladywolf** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:22 pm 0

The Frozen One wrote:It's all part of growing up and being British I'm afraid.

Doesn't seem to be just British guys though. I've seen this in Australians and those from the US too.

Colour me confused

l1n3n01z · Post by **l1n3n01z** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:24 pm 0

lisawolf wrote: Colour me confused

No need to, judging from your new avatar.

Ahchay · Post by **Ahchay** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:25 pm 0

lisawolf wrote:I've noticed a lot of guys seem to worry about looking gay or being percieved as gay because of what they wear or how they act.

Funnily enough the only woman I remember worried about looking 'too dykey' was a Lesbian and she was going through a 'am I too masculine?' stage. Then she got over it.

Why do guys worry so much?

Short answer; Because most guys are, to be quite frank, idiots.

Slightly longer answer; I'm sure that a large part of it is that an awful lot of "blokes" (and the more blokish they are, the more prevalent this is) are insecure in their sexuality. I know married men who will not carry their wives handbags for fear of "looking gay". Which brings me back to my first point - most men are idiots.

Cheers
Chris

l1n3n01z · Post by **l1n3n01z** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:29 pm 0

I'm quite often mistaken for a gay. Actually more men have propositioned to me than women for what it's worth

Anyway..
Things have turned unfluffy at times. When an idiot needs an "excuse" to beat someone up, "looking gay" is unbeatable (err reverse pun not intended).

punkrulesok · Post by **punkrulesok** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:33 pm 0

Ahchay wrote:Slightly longer answer; I'm sure that a large part of it is that an awful lot of "blokes" (and the more blokish they are, the more prevalent this is) are insecure in their sexuality.

Nail on head mate. Gay bashing is slowly becoming less and less popular. I cant stand homophobes meself.

beardfreak · Post by **beardfreak** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:47 pm 0

Because the female part of the male has been suppressed by conditioning and media imaging.

Maybe ?

Or...

The feminine side is seen as weaker generally, so the man has to maintain power by taking a macho position amongst males.

Hmmm... possibly both linked.

Plus, the traditional model is one man + one woman = family, and some aspire to that standard and are then classed as homophobes.

It's a tricky area to assess.

Spirit · Post by **Spirit** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:51 pm 0

In their minds they don't want to percived as something that is believed to be 'not normal'.

darkladywolf · Post by **darkladywolf** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 11:56 pm 0

A lot of good answers here. I'm still not sure I 'get' it, but maybe I understand it a bit better.

I guess I've always been different so to me the idea of 'not normal' being percieved as 'bad' is difficult. I've always been proud of being different.

Hmm...need to think on this more.

DutchLlama · Post by **DutchLlama** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 12:13 am 0

Ahchay wrote: Slightly longer answer; I'm sure that a large part of it is that an awful lot of "blokes" (and the more blokish they are, the more prevalent this is) are insecure in their sexuality.

On the other side of the medal, I know some gay people and I must say that they are most insecure fucked up people which I know.

I guess that's why there are gay pride parades and not any straight pride ones.

Ahchay · Post by **Ahchay** » Tue Dec 09, 2003 12:27 am 0

DutchLlama wrote:
Ahchay wrote: Slightly longer answer; I'm sure that a large part of it is that an awful lot of "blokes" (and the more blokish they are, the more prevalent this is) are insecure in their sexuality.
On the other side of the medal, I know some gay people and I must say that they are most insecure fucked up people which I know.

Well, being insecure and fucked up is part of being human. Being insecure about your sexuality on the other hand is (mostly) a straight male occupation. Not exclusively though - I know plenty of women who worry that they might be gay, and I know gays who go through regular "Oh no, maybe I'm not gay" periods - actually, on second thoughts, you might have a point there. But the typical "straight male" has the worst symptoms.

I guess that's why there are gay pride parades and not any straight pride ones.

Well, I don't quite get the leap of logic - but I know an awful lot of straight people who march in Pride festivals (Well, me for starters) - it's not about pride in being gay, it's about having pride in yourself, in your own sexuality and being accepting of other peoples choices. I think the world would be a much fluffier place if more straight people participated in these events.

Cheers
Chris

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