Gay?

[)p(]

I'm quite often mistaken for a gay. Actually more men have propositioned to me than women for what it's worth

Anyway..
Things have turned unfluffy at times. When an idiot needs an "excuse" to beat someone up, "looking gay" is unbeatable (err reverse pun not intended).

Same here...I can see it myself too in how I look, act and move...and personally it does not bother me at all...the typical male macho stereotype has allways been alien to me...

Luckily I have never had any "unfluffy" experiences because of that

peter

[ophion]

I am another "not gay but often mistaken as such" type.

[Ryan]

Well.. I'm straight, and don't like to appear gay: coz, well, I'm not . I don't want guys hitting on me %-)

Maybe that's why?

The same reason I guess gay guys try and look gay - coz they are, and want other gay guys to know so they can get a chance of some action %-)

Or maybe I'm being a bit simplistic here

[Ahchay]

Well.. I'm straight, and don't like to appear gay: coz, well, I'm not . I don't want guys hitting on me %-)

Maybe that's why?

The same reason I guess gay guys try and look gay - coz they are, and want other gay guys to know so they can get a chance of some action %-)

Or maybe I'm being a bit simplistic here

Maybe

It rather depends on circumstance - if you're in Sainsbury's, do you think there are gangs of gays cruising the aisles looking for a bit of rough? If you're in a pub with a group of friends are you expecting to get your arse pinched all the time? I doubt it.

Most of the times that I've "sufferred" from the people-think-I'm-gay-thing have been in a completely non sexual sense (i.e. not a chat-up, but an over-sincere "is there anything you think you should tell us?" way) but when I have been hit on I've normally found that a simple "Well, I'd love a pint, but it's my round next" is enough to derail most chat-ups. Besides, it's flattering when someone chats you up, regardless of gender

I've spent a lot of time in gay bars (combination of gay friends and late opening) and have never had a problem with being chatted up - and *certainly* much less of a problem than most of my female friends have had in straight society.

Cheers
Chris

[snaff]

I don't understand how degree of masculinity or femininity relates to sexuality. Being a straight male I'm mostly attracted to feminine qualities in other people, and also in myself. If I was to appear or act effeminate though, that would mark me as gay, which seems like a contradiction.

I got given enough grief from others just for growing my hair long, but I guess that's enough girliness for me anyway and I haven't dabbled in wearing make-up. It would be nice to be able to wear a skirt on hot summer days though.

[darkladywolf]

I don't understand how degree of masculinity or femininity relates to sexuality. Being a straight male I'm mostly attracted to feminine qualities in other people, and also in myself. If I was to appear or act effeminate though, that would mark me as gay, which seems like a contradiction.

I got given enough grief from others just for growing my hair long, but I guess that's enough girliness for me anyway and I haven't dabbled in wearing make-up. It would be nice to be able to wear a skirt on hot summer days though.

Well the problem there is a lot of people seem to relate gender to sexuality. One thing I was asked when I came out as female was whether that meant I was now more into guys. I had to gently explain that gender and sexuality are different concepts.

Wear skirts anyway. I've got a couple of straight male friends who do

[cronosoft.co.uk]

I've noticed a lot of guys seem to worry about looking gay or being percieved as gay because of what they wear or how they act.

Funnily enough the only woman I remember worried about looking 'too dykey' was a Lesbian and she was going through a 'am I too masculine?' stage. Then she got over it.

Why do guys worry so much?

We don't want to get turked by Prince Charles.... maybe that's the reason?

[everklear]

As ten balloons.
...Not homosexual, though.

I'm not sure why there's such a stigma attached to it in the formative years (and beyond). Never seen the sense in it, myself.

[sack]

I've never worried about it actually... I have a few good gay/lesbian friends. One girl tends to piss me off by grabbing girls arses when dancing with me - because it's always assumed it's me being a male chavanist pig. Not a label I really want.

But one particular gay friend is bloody brilliant, always looks out for folks when they're down, good laugh and sometimes he does perch himself on my knee or run up, hug me and give me a peck on the cheek. but to be honest I don't see what the hell is wrong with that.

[zbandito]

my mom didn't like it when she got propositioned by a female prostitute once

I was wondering when I'd get to share that

[moobaa]

I just get mistaken for a woman. A lot.

Which doesn't bother me - I see it as a compliment for the care I place on my hair - but the mistaken peeps should at least have the decency to be fucking embarrassed and, I don't know, get me a free drink or something

[gilesgoat]

I've noticed a lot of guys seem to worry about looking gay or being percieved as gay because of what they wear or how they act.

Funnily enough the only woman I remember worried about looking 'too dykey' was a Lesbian and she was going through a 'am I too masculine?' stage. Then she got over it.

Why do guys worry so much?

Well, maybe because it's someway "more accepted/appreciated" a
lesbian girl, even from straight people, rather than a gay male ?

I mean, apologize if someone could feel offended here, a lesbian
girl always looks like a girl, nothing much really "weird" why a
gay male looks "definitely quite strange".

In truth it seems people generally tend to put "more pressure" over
gays rather than anything else, of course I'd say generally are the
males putting more pressure on gays.

Well, it' very uncommon (at least here I'd say) to see a "macho girl"
I mean a female acting in "masculine" ways and even it's seen
some males/people still percieve it as "something more acceptable
than a gay male" ..

So, in short I'd say that "social pressure" on gays is a bit "higher"
compared to other stuff, that's why maybe guys are so worried ?

It's just an hypotesis ... just what I've observed around.

Well, about me I don't care much what I put on, people already
have their reputation on me, no matter what I wear and how
they already think/know I am "mad"

Would make not so much difference if I'd come at workplace
dressed up like a girl or whatever, someone could even dare
to say I'd be dressing up better than "usual"

I already came into my workplace wearing my fursuit a couple
of times .. they are already "burned enough" ..

And yes, of course I already been threatened cause "you spoil
the image of the company" ... eheh .. luckily I am not easy
to be fired ... (but apart some particular occasions it's not
that I come at work every day wearing a fursuit )

Well .. if someone could even percieve me as gay hmmmm ...
... well, who cares ? I am already busy so what ?
Please don't bother me, find someone else

(no offence to anybody )

[Muttley]

I've noticed a lot of guys seem to worry about looking gay or being percieved as gay because of what they wear or how they act.

Funnily enough the only woman I remember worried about looking 'too dykey' was a Lesbian and she was going through a 'am I too masculine?' stage. Then she got over it.

Why do guys worry so much?

Short answer; Because most guys are, to be quite frank, idiots.

Slightly longer answer; I'm sure that a large part of it is that an awful lot of "blokes" (and the more blokish they are, the more prevalent this is) are insecure in their sexuality. I know married men who will not carry their wives handbags for fear of "looking gay". Which brings me back to my first point - most men are idiots.

Cheers
Chris

I think you nailed it in the short answer me 'ole mucker.

Muttley

[Tmuk]

Well I'm not sure I buy the argument that most men are idiots. After all, most of the people on this forum are men and it's very rare that an idiot comes along. Unless you're talking about the base-ball cap and white trainer brigade of course, in which case I take your point

I get called gay quite a lot. I suppose it's because I'm fairly tall and lanky as well as being slightly shy at times
Just fits in rather nicely with a certain gay stereotype I suppose. It doesn't bother me too much, for a start girls love gay men

The only time it does piss me off is when people call me gay as some kind of insult. For example, a while back when I was walking down my road for a night on the town, feeling fine, and a couple of yobs walked past and yelled 'Faggot' at me. I had to turn round, go home and get changed because I didn't feel comfortable in what I was wearing

[koworld]

Expressions like 'you bummer' and 'homo' are just leftovers from our pre-sexual taunts of childhood. My best mate is a TV so we go to gay clubs quite often. That's not because he's gay its because the gay community are so much more open-minded and they allow him to have a great time in a friendly atmosphere.

I'm straight but I have no fear of being labled as gay myself, or targeted with playful gay taunts, what does it matter? Its not going to lose my job because somebody took such taunts seriously, Sarah is not going to get upset because she knows the lie of the land.

I like using 'bummer' and 'homo' and such as taunts, they invert the recievers' fear in on itself. If directed at someone who is happy with their sexuality then it's shrugged off with a smile, if its directed at somebody who is homophobic then it becomes a very effective dig at their prejudices.

EDIT

Just read TMUK's post above and I should say that I'm referring exclusively to the kind of gay taunts we friends chuck round the forum at each other. The nastiness of the 'faggot' thing Simon talks about is something else entirely.