Yeah, I did. But thanksHarlequin wrote:Stone wrote:And incidentally you will occasionally find someone who fits in enough circles to effectively be 'your other half' - this happened to me recently, and we spent weeks going 'yeah, me too!' - great stuff
May I suggest, in connection with another thread, that this is the primary person to whom you should consider opening up?
TaHarlequin wrote:Ramble away. It's not my footpath.
For example, I just emptied Tara in the park behind the Hampstead Theatre[0] then popped in to pick up my chair leg[1]. While there I bumped into Saffron Myers, who directed me in many plays over the years but with whom I haven't communicated since early last year. Filling her in on what's happened since then I go into how Alan2 accidentally discovered my genetic mother, the story starting, more or less, with how I originally met Alan about fifteen years ago at the Rainbow Circle camps[2] and fell in love with him.I wrote:I'm usually "mistaken" for "a straight".
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..Yup, that was my error. I realized it right after I shut my computer and went to bed last night.Harlequin wrote:I think that you're referring to the Kinsey Scale (developed by Alfred Kinsey in the 40s) and that by "transsexual" you meant to write "bisexual". "Transsexuality" applies to gender (usually a discrepancy between physical and mental gender identity), not to sexual attraction. As I wrote earlier, I consider sexuality to be far more complex than can be represented on a one-dimensional line. I prefer to envision an omnidimensional sphere in which a multitude of different preferences and traits can be represented (most of which can change over time).Dave wrote:There is a scale (I cannot remember the name of it) which positions people based upon their degree of sexual orientation. One end is completely heterosexual, the middle is transsexual, and the other end is homosexual. I would probably classify myself as being in-between completely hetero and completely transsexual. Everyone varies along this scale.
One of my college professors wrote:A transsexual is a person whose gender identity does not match their biological sex. For the majority of us, biological sex and gender identity are consistent. However, for some, a serious mismatch appears to exist. While transsexualism is uncommon (affecting fewer than 1/30,000), it is, nonetheless a problem that has received a great deal of attention.
The term "transgenderism is one that has recently been used to describe persons whose appearance and behavior does not conform to societal roles associated with a particular sex. While transexuals may be considered to be extreme examples of transgenderism, many transgendered persons may not be classified as transsexuals. The point that seems to be most important in this distinction is the extent to which the person may experience dysphoria with their own body and gender status. The term "gender identity disorder", which is currently used by the American Psychiatric Association (1994), has used to describe many transsexuals persons and some transgendered persons. Certainly the concept of gender is more complex than many of us may have realized.
Most transsexuals report having felt a sense of unease with their body from early childhood. A male transsexual may want to cut off his penis, and a female transsexual may hate her breasts and want them removed. This unease is more than being a little confused or unhappy about things. It represents a fundamental disconnect between what they are biologically (or chromosomally) and how they perceive themselves.
Currently, the only treatment for this disorder is sex reassignment. This is a multi-stage process that requires extensive screening. Those who appear to have a real sense of gender dysphoria (unhappiness with their biological sex) are instructed to live for the next several months as the other sex. If that is successful, hormone therapy follows. In male to female transsexuals, anti-androgen drugs and estrogen are given to encourage breast development, soften the skin, etc. In female to male transsexuals, testosterone is given to encourage the growth of facial hair, lower the voice, etc. Testosterone also inhibits menstruation. If the candidate still wishes to proceed, then surgery is performed to fashion genitals that are consistent with the person's gender identity. Most transsexuals (both male and female) report that they are happy with the reassignment. Male to female surgery tends to be somewhat more successful than female to male reassignment in terms of orgasmic capacity after surgery. Almost all female to male transsexuals prefer female sex partners after surgery. Male to female transsexuals show more variability. This surgery remains controversial.
Ah, I never thought about it that way!Harlequin wrote:IME, monogamous homosexual relationships aren't particularly more prone to failure than heterosexual ones. Polygamous and polyamorous ones, however, (whatever the mix of genders) have far more potential points of failure: there are two sets of feelings involved between two people (one set each way), six between three people; twelve between four people, etc. It does work for some people, as I wrote, but I would advise anyone to consider the potential consequences should things go wrong.
Yes, statistically then they'll be much more difficult to achieve harmony, and would likely yield higher split-up rates.Do you masturbate or gratify yourself sexually in any way on some sort of frequent basis? If not, your brain tends to put sexual desires at bay and you don't feel them. Essentially, if you don't use them, you feel them.arron wrote:I'm a sort of anti-sexual. I feel love and compassion for virtually everyone who I meet, but I have no desire to get into sexual relations with them..it just doesn't happen. I've been known to hug people, have fun with them and the idea of having children is attractive to me.
The feeling for this is no based on guilt or fear..it's like I have almost zero desire for it. A pint of lager has the same appeal as drinking urine..I don't have any good or bad feelings about doing either..
Some men only do it once every few days, or once every week. Try it, it's fun! 
.....punkrulesok wrote:Its amazing, that feeling, isnt it. For lack of a proper deffinition, i think its called LOVE!Stone wrote:And incidentally you will occasionally find someone who fits in enough circles to effectively be 'your other half' - this happened to me recently, and we spent weeks going 'yeah, me too!' - great stuff
I mean, no one person can define what love is, because, to every person, it is different, i reckon. You just "know"
It might be a cliche, but when you find "that special person", it does change your outlook on the world surround you. Things that wound you up, dont matter anymore; certain things that you thought you would allways be really passionate about, all of a sudden go on the back burner.
..... (astonished of such wisdom in few sentences) ....
Yak wrote:It's true that "love" is a word which is *much* overused and cheapened by inappropriate use - if meant truly to describe that kind of connection then it is something which must and cannot be used casually.
Maybe I'm a soppy old soul but I fell deeply in love with Sarah the moment she sat down opposite me at the table in the pub for the first time.Bluey wrote: I have the same view on 'Love' - its something that takes time, you cannot possibly be completely 'in love' with someone unless you know them - and know them well.
Silly Americanized example, just the first one I happened across, but you get the idea.Eros, a word that came from the Latin god of hormones, was used to refer to sensual or sexual love. I eros deep dish pizza because it makes my taste buds feel good. In the same way, I eros the sensation of sea breeze in my face, my ragged Indiana Wesleyan sweat shirt, hot tubs, and sexual pleasure.
Phileo and storge describe friendship love and love for one's family. I storge my Mom and Dad. I storge my kid brother. I phileo my old college roommate.
Agape love is a willful, deliberate, I-choose-to-love-you love. (The Latin word is "caritas" from which we get "charity.") This love is not based on warm mushy feelings or even on a relationship. It is unconditional--just like the love Cubs fans have for their team even during its usual losing season.
Inside every skate is a deep seated desire to be with a scummer... Although anyone you pick up down St Mary's is liable to be highly dodgy...lardygaz wrote:shhh biscs will hearkoworld wrote:Is that Kevin Bovril? Lives down St. Mary's way?lardygaz wrote:I know what you're saying but I really do love Bovril
That's an interesting perspective but not one I share. I know the difference between infatuation, lust and love that grows, and love that is instant. I'm not saying that a deep instant love is indestrucable though. The forces you mention can break any realationship.Yak wrote:I think "love at first sight" is basically a physiological response, some vestige left over from presentient times. Of course it can feel powerful (I speak theoretically here, having never been prone to such responses with humans) and it can lead to infatuation, which often *is* mistaken for "love". Which is not to say that such a state cannot lead to what Trolley so appropriately calls Unity - if the underlying informational congruences are there to back up the initial physiological response, then sure, it could happen. The danger of course is that people sometimes don't bother doing the necessary communication to establish that.
