Burying my dead.

Bog · Post by **Bog** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:31 am 0

So I've finally got money in the bank, and a projection of freetime that this year, before the end of the year, I can go to New York and go kneel in the site of where the Twin Towers used to be and just say "Goodbye" to the people I lost there, and the thousands of others I didn't know who just happenned to be in the way of one of the bigger crimes of the beginning of the millenium.

Some of you know how badly - how fundamentally, how deep and how hard, that day hurt me. Most of you don't, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring conspiracy theories or such things into this thread. It's just that this weekend Sue and I decided to fly over to NYC in the next six weeks or so, so I can say goodbye to my dead friends.

It's been a weight hanging around my neck for a long time, and it's been heavier than it could have been for various reasons. But I'm going to go and stand where they lived, and cry for them and place my hands on the stone where they died and say "I'm sorry that I didn't die with you".

And it's a monumentally big deal for me. It's been such a huge thing in my brain these last five years, and going there to say "Goodbye" is very important. And I hope it will let me move on.

I've been able to do this a few times, since September 11th. But I never - to be honest - had the courage.

I just wanted to say I was doing it. So I won't chicken out, I guess.

I need to let the pain go. And I need to say "Goodbye".

Sir_LANs-a-lot · Post by **Sir_LANs-a-lot** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:34 am 0

Clear skies geezer.

Alarm · Post by **Alarm** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:37 am 0

Hope all goes according to plan, chum.

Jamesac · Post by **Jamesac** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:39 am 0

Glad to hear you'll be able to get at least some of it out, closing stuff off can be important. Especially when it's something as big as this.

However...

"I'm sorry that I didn't die with you"

I don't know these people (and I'm sorry I didn't) but I doubt they'd let you get away with that sentiment were they around to respond.

James

sty · Post by **sty** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:39 am 0

I hope you get the closure you need mate *hugs*

I know a few people who were involved in the whole Twin Towers incident, some were there, some should have been there and some knew people that were there, and without exception it was gaining closure in their own way that allowed them to move on.

PFVA · Post by **PFVA** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:02 am 0

Go there, say Good Bye, grieve a bit and leave a rose on the board they have there for it. Quite a few Americans have been doing that.

Then go see the New York you know, the Manhattan you know moving on. Without forgetting but moving on.

But i also don't think you should have died with them. Life is like that. Some were there and lots weren't. It does not mean you should feel guilty for not being there at the time.

thalamus · Post by **thalamus** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:18 am 0

"Fortitude"

the2bears · Post by **the2bears** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 6:33 am 0

I think a trip to do this is a much needed bit of closure for you. I've got my own experiences from that day, quite a bit different, but I understand at least a little what you've been through and what you're going through. Fare thee well, sir.

Bill

shimeril · Post by **shimeril** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:06 am 0

Closure is good. I hope you get the result you are after.

FWIW we're glad you didn't die with them big fella.

Hugs.

limb_clock · Post by **limb_clock** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:09 am 0

I hope you'll receive a peace of mind.

Anders · Post by **Anders** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:20 am 0

I wish you all the best, Bog, and even though I don't know you, I'm glad you didn't die there.

Wanderer · Post by **Wanderer** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:05 am 0

Bog wrote:So I've finally got money in the bank, and a projection of freetime that this year, before the end of the year, I can go to New York and go kneel in the site of where the Twin Towers used to be and just say "Goodbye" to the people I lost there, and the thousands of others I didn't know who just happenned to be in the way of one of the bigger crimes of the beginning of the millenium.

Some of you know how badly - how fundamentally, how deep and how hard, that day hurt me. Most of you don't, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring conspiracy theories or such things into this thread. It's just that this weekend Sue and I decided to fly over to NYC in the next six weeks or so, so I can say goodbye to my dead friends.

It's been a weight hanging around my neck for a long time, and it's been heavier than it could have been for various reasons. But I'm going to go and stand where they lived, and cry for them and place my hands on the stone where they died and say "I'm sorry that I didn't die with you".

And it's a monumentally big deal for me. It's been such a huge thing in my brain these last five years, and going there to say "Goodbye" is very important. And I hope it will let me move on.

I've been able to do this a few times, since September 11th. But I never - to be honest - had the courage.

I just wanted to say I was doing it. So I won't chicken out, I guess.

I need to let the pain go. And I need to say "Goodbye".

Bog, I am one of those who did not know. Bless you, my friend, and all the best

Spoongod · Post by **Spoongod** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:10 am 0

Bog, I'm lost for words. My eyes are a little wet after reading your post. That such hurt could have hung over you for such time pains me all the more now that we've actually met. I've never lost anybody that way, and I'm sure it's a good thing that few people have. I can't speculate as to how much the lost have meant to you, but for a moment I felt a twinge of empathy and it leaves me dumbfounded.

I'm sorry to ramble, Bog. I know that what you are doing is courageous. It's a very meaningful thing. You're to be proud of this now, and I'm sure you will be when all is said and done, the memories of how you felt echoing around inside your mind. Bloody strong bugger, you. I wish I could say more, or help somehow. Just don't forget that you're doing something many people would never be able to face up to. That's something to be proud of.

*hugs*

If you need to chat, I'm here. I know there are other people who you know better and would take more comfort from but the doors are open, ok?

Take care. Perhaps this will allow you to finally lay this chapter in life to rest. I'm sure that's what they would want for you, and perhaps you'll feel the same. But more over, remember how strong you must be even if it doesn't always feel that way.

benedictw · Post by **benedictw** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:29 am 0

Lovely post, bog.

** Hug **

Never forget.

phattslagg · Post by **phattslagg** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:54 am 0

All the best for the trip, Bog - I'm sure it will do you a lot of good, no matter how hard it may be.

YakYak

Burying my dead.

Burying my dead.

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