"Fallout: LAHNDAN!" ("Fallout: London") impressions.

[F-ZeroOne]

The “Fallout” series of video games have been, and are, incredibly popular; even more so that they have penetrated DA CULTURE via a (very good) TV series. However, until recently, every “Fallout” game has been set in AMERICA! (A post-apocalyptic AMERICA!, so presumably just after the second Trump presidency).

Until now. A mod for “Fallout 4” has been released, and it’s set in our very own Blighty. And proving that even video games are not immune to government spending bias, specifically London. A London that has been through Resource Wars, a European Civil War, and finally a Nuclear War. Its basically like how we thought Brexit would go, only better. [1]

What you probably want to know is: how British is ‘Fallout: London”? On a scale of, say Dick van Dyke to Queuing?

Well, it has a food paste called “Warmite” and a supermarket chain called “Fescos”. The British soldiers wear rimmed tin hats (ideal for surviving portable nuclear weapons at close range!). An early character I met speaks only in “Carry On” movie double-entendres. It’s not very long before you get called the “C” word. Within a short time of playing theres a joke about “leaves on the track”. You can acquire a doggy friend called “Churchill”. There are Jam Sandwich police cars and atomic-engined Land Rovers.

One of the item crafting tools is a tea brewing station.

So, quite British indeed then.

What’s astonishing about “Fallout: London” is that this isn’t an official release; its a mod, worked on by a team of volunteers fueled mainly by love (and presumably a warehouse full of chocolate digestives). Yet whereas most game mods change enemies into “My Little Ponies” or something, “Fallout: London” is a work of almost immeasurably greater scale. It really could have been sold either as a DLC expansion or even a stand-alone game. I've been playing a few hours and just barely scratched the surface. In some ways, bits of it are even bigger than "Fallout: 4". I started the game in Greenwich, and was slightly astonished to find first the Royal Observatory and then The Cutty Sark. Thats the Greenwich Tunnel! I've been in that! [2] A truly incredible amount of the city is here - enough that residents may well be able to navigate around. I don't visit London more than about once or twice a year, and even I recognise enough stuff that I have a feel for where things are in game. Its not a completely 1:1 recreation - there is obviously some video-game compression going on; I found the London Eye the other day and then Waterloo station, and while I know they're fairly near to each other in real life they're not quite as close as depicted in game.

And the content! A whole... well, city to explore, quests, side quests, a cast of what feels like hundreds and fully voice-acted. Granted, you won't find any Reeves or Elbas here but they've scored some interesting little coups - a couple of characters you meet early on are voiced by Doctors Six and Seven, and later you can meet the Speaker of the House of Commons - voiced by an actual former Speaker of the House of Commons! And Squires there too. SQUIRE! [3] "London" operates on a scale which makes even the full commercial releases seem a bit... pokey. "Fallout: New Vegas" is rightly a classic [4] but its version of "Las Vegas" feels like a small Welsh village on a damp Sunday afternoon compared to this.

And its not just the cast either - the developers have gone all in and somehow managed to acquire the terrifying "Protect and Survive" government videos from the 80s for the intros. These aren't parodies or recreations - they're the actual videos, and they're both horrifying and the most suitable thing imaginable to start off a play session with.

Having said all this, some allowances have to be made. Things can be a little janky though to be honest its a bit difficult to tell whether or not this is because "Fallout: 4" "just works" or the mod itself. There have been some bugs, a couple crashes and in order to run the game smoothly I have to verify the files every few plays. I can normally do this whilst doing other stuff but it does make it difficult to pick up and play. Some of the busier areas feel like they're putting a bit of a strain on the game engine, and theres some design choices which whilst they suit the setting make things a little bit of a chore at times - for example, you can meet some semi-friendly fish people. And they all speak in a strangled, gurgly voice. It fits the environment but does make going through their dialogue a little bit of a chore at times. And. They. Won't. Move. Out. The. Bloody. Way!

And then theres just getting the mod in the first place. Due to changes to the Steam edition of "Fallout: 4", getting it going on that platform is a bit of a pain. The "Good Old Games" version doesn't have this issue, but you still effectively have to pay for "Fallout: 4" twice if you already have it (GOG do put it on sale fairly often though).

Its also a rather harder game to start than other "Fallout" games. Its clearly aimed at more experienced players. A shrew may not sound like a particularly dangerous foe, but trust me, they can absolutely f**k you up here. Enemies tend to come in small hordes which can be tough to deal with as aid supplies and ammo seem to be rather thinner on the ground here. You know all those perks you ignore until later in favour of the things that make you a better Wasteland Killing Machine? In "London", you will want the ones that get you more ammo, early. And unlike "Fallout: 4", the "settlements" where you can build up a home base and recover somewhat aren't within easy reach of your starting point. It doesn't help that sometimes the games fast travel mechanic will teleport you right into a gang of bad guys. And I haven't even met some of the harder foes yet. There are "Radgers". Malevolent post boxes (yes, you read that right). And whispers of terrible, white furred creatures roaming the Commons of Wimbledon, gathering all that they find...

Overall though, for free content made by people essentially beavering away in a shed for a few years, "London" is an astonishing achievement, and I've barely scratched the surface. It almost makes you proud to be British.

"Fallout: London": Keep Calm and Carry More Screws.


[1] #satire!

[2] "Carry On" strikes again!

[3] If you're unfamiliar with YouTube military history content, feel free to look baffled. Otherwise... Squire!

[4] A very brown classic.