Using certain words or not using them (help!)

Inane baanter or words of wisdom - you decide...
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phattslagg
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Post by phattslagg »

Mayhem wrote: The line as it currently stands is "...his mind constantly rewinding back and replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."
I would humbly suggest that the word 'back' is made redundant by 'rewinding' and that it would read more smoothly if you simply wrote: "... his mind constantly replaying the events of three days ago like some looped-up videotape."

Or something.

To me, the 'unwipeable' bit isn't really necessary anyway.
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l1n3n01z
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Post by l1n3n01z »

phattslagg wrote:
Mayhem wrote: The line as it currently stands is "...his mind constantly rewinding back and replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."
I would humbly suggest that the word 'back' is made redundant by 'rewinding' and that it would read more smoothly if you simply wrote: "... his mind constantly replaying the events of three days ago like some looped-up videotape."

Or something.

To me, the 'unwipeable' bit isn't really necessary anyway.
Everybody's an editor. :lol: :lol:

But I concur
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Post by Mayhem »

Thinking on it, I even came to the realisation it should really be "inerasable" not "unerasable". I'm sure both are legal but the former sounds much better. And that I believe is where I will leave it for now ;)

Thanks for all the suggestions and thoughts...
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kalmar
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Post by kalmar »

Mayhem wrote:"inerasable"
8O
(just show, no stabby stabby)
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Dio
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Post by Dio »

Isn't "indelible" the right word for that?
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Mayhem
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Post by Mayhem »

kalmar wrote:
Mayhem wrote:"inerasable"
8O
The "in"? The "erasable"? Not sure what the 8O was for :P

(to note btw, there is no "e" between the "s" and "a", and Word only knows "inerasable" not "unerasable" either, though both register at dictionary.com)
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Flabio
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Post by Flabio »

If you're writing a novel or something, just stick down whatever and do your editing later. If you try to edit as you go, you'll never finish (trust me on this).
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Post by Mayhem »

That is good advice and something I do follow. This just happened to be the only red line in Word I had so far and was wondering if I was using a correct word or not :)
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Post by l1n3n01z »

Dio wrote:Isn't "indelible" the right word for that?
yes.
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Post by l1n3n01z »

Main Entry: indelible
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: indestructible
Synonyms: enduring, ineffaceable, ineradicable, inerasable, inexpungible, inextirpable, ingrained, lasting, memorable, permanent, rememberable, string, unforgettable
Antonyms: erasable
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Post by xav »

Mayhem wrote:The line as it currently stands is "...his mind constantly rewinding back and replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."
"...his mind constantly rewinding back and dwelling on the events of three days ago like some inane thread in an internet forum. He wished that Godwin's law applied in the real world. Right now he'd gladly mutter 'Hitler', if it would mean that the endlessly repeating memories would stop."
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Post by WiteWulf »

xav wrote:"...his mind constantly rewinding back and dwelling on the events of three days ago like some inane thread in an internet forum. He wished that Godwin's law applied in the real world. Right now he'd gladly mutter 'Hitler', if it would mean that the endlessly repeating memories would stop."
I hereby invoke Godwin's Law and declare this thread null and void :)

You can't mention Godwin's Law and the 'H' word in the same paragraph and not fall into a great, big, steaming, paradox...
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Post by Saint Sandy »

"...his mind constantly rewinding back and replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."

hmmm .... not too keen on the alliteration of rewinding / replaying

How about:
" ... his ( fragile or tattered ) mind inexorably rewinding then playing those fateful events of three days prior, like a possessed VCR player perpetually stuck on loop. " *

*pardon the poetic licence :wink:

Can I award myself an ANAL SCORE for the above sentence? :lol:
"And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure."
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Post by Darkflame »

TFO wrote:
Mayhem wrote:The line as it currently stands is "...his mind constantly rewinding back and replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."
It works.

Remember kids, when Shakespeare didn't have a word that accurately reflected what he wanted to say, he made one up. And many of them are still in use today...
Second.
If the meaning is clear, nothing else maters in terms of if a word technically exists or not. (what a silly concept anyway :p)

As for the flow of the sequence Id just make it more simple;

"...his mind continuously replaying the events of three days ago like some unwipeable videotape."
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Dio
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Post by Dio »

l1n3n01z wrote:Main Entry: indelible
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: indestructible
Synonyms: enduring, ineffaceable, ineradicable, inerasable, inexpungible, inextirpable, ingrained, lasting, memorable, permanent, rememberable, string, unforgettable
Antonyms: erasable
Easily and often slightly amusingly misread as: inedible.
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