
Just found this on "Behind the Sofa"
The Real Time Lady
Music: Eminem
Words: JP 'Age of Steel' Green
Could I have your attention please
May I have your attention please
Will the real Time Lady please stand up
I repeat, will the real Time Lady please stand up...
[We're gonna have a problem here...]
Ya'll act like you never seen a Time Tady before
Scarf all on the floor
Like Mary and Lalla just burst in the door
And started acting all class on the TARDIS floor
She said plot a course
All they got was a divorce (aaaaaah)
It's the return of the...
Im gratified you apprec -
Flip his lid
"He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Who said...
"Appreciate it, appreciate it!!!!"
I think that's what he meant
Villainous pirates tangled with him
ticka ticka ticka Time Lady,
"I'm sick of him, look at him
Walkin around, with a robotic parrot
Flyin' to you know who"
"Yeah, but he's so cute though "
Yeah, I probably got a couple of sonic screws to make him lose
But not before the Mentiads try to blow K9s fuse (heheheh)
This Key To Time makes me so confused
But hey, its cool, Tom Baker will make this plot cruise
But what if Baker flips, but what if Baker flips
Mary Tamm will put him straight, in case the Doctor trips
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
On Saturday night, after Jimmy gets it fixed
Of course they're gonna what quantum physics is
But will they be afraid
They've got sofas, haven't they?
But I think Mary Tamm'll
Will tire of Bakers flannel
But Lalla Ward we hope,
To the TARDIS she'll elope
then there's no reason that two time lords can't get a grope
But Mary Whitehouse, they'll provoke
Let's see how the shows goes, Daleks yet to overthrow
I'm a Time Lady, yes; I'm the Time Lady
All you other companions are just irritating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Cause I'm the Time Lady, yes, I'm the Time Lady
All you other Romana's are just imitating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Starting with the Daleks, come on we're all getting bored
Come on Mr. Adams give us something new
You think I want to see scissors, paper, stone
Half of the audience are punks just sniffing glue
But Lalla, if we get John Cleese, wont it be weird
No, not as bad as casting Michael Sheard
But what of Adric, it's worse than I had feared
And Anthony Ainley with his pantomimic beard
Horns of Nimon, Shada, it's getting worse
Think we're getting struck by the Nathan Turner curse
Think he wants to take us off BBC
Or put us against the soaps, they show on ITV
Give me an E-Space arc trilogy
Prove to me, how annoying Adric can be
I'm sick of Alzarian boy groups
All you do is annoy me
Can't wait for Earthshock to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who think like me, who just want Romana like me
Who dress like me, yes it is quite kinky
And who might be like the Doctor, but not like me.
I'm a Time Lady, yes; I'm the Time Lady
All you other companions are just irritating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Cause I'm the Time Lady, yes, I'm the Time Lady
All you other Romanas are just imitating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
All the shit you put me through
Bat's bites, spider's stings
Oh Tom you promised me, you'd be my groom
But only as the characters, as we played it
But tell me Tom is it only the scarf that's long
Come on, out with it
You just liked the Paris bit
The one where the Count isn't really a man
But I have a plan
To get some Tharil bum
It's funny that weren't allowed to get a little dirty
Cos when we were together, we got a little flirty
Don't you know that Romana's a Time Virgin
But the thing with the dog, it just ain't workin'
And behind every corridor, an alien is lurking
Should I be working just as Tom's second billing
The TARDIS I am filling, in E Space I am stuck
With K9 and his robotic muck
So will the real Lady please stand up
And put 1 of those fingers on each hand up
And be allowed to take control
So one more time, how does it go?
I'm a Time Lady, yes; I'm the Time Lady
All you other companions are just irritating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
Cause I'm the Time Lady, yes, I'm the Time Lady
All you other Romanas are just imitating
So wont the real Time Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up